tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11284603507810368292024-03-19T02:19:12.615+00:00How To Write Badly WellJoel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.comBlogger255125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-59591692671845345012014-08-20T12:47:00.000+01:002014-08-20T12:47:00.015+01:00Take the mad scientist archetype to its logical conclusion<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/7xPFpGdfjVI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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From the show <a href="http://www.joelstickley.co.uk/twoapw-show/">The Worst Of All Possible Worlds</a>.<br />
<br />Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com361tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-35169769163319810592014-08-19T12:40:00.000+01:002014-08-19T12:45:39.826+01:00Assume all aliens are the same<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/PIEczGOWXXk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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From the show <a href="http://www.joelstickley.co.uk/twoapw-show/">The Worst Of All Possible Worlds</a>.<br />
<br />Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com73tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-72383452419331500512013-09-24T16:20:00.002+01:002013-09-24T16:21:02.978+01:00Use all the help you can get<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Dear readers,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">I use Grammarly for <a href="http://www.grammarly.com/">proofreading </a>because it's far more than just a spool chucker - it uses cone text to deter mine when miss takes have bean maid and helps you two imp roof you're righting. As an ex perry meant, I havnt used it hear and Im a frayed its all gone too he'll.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">[CLICK]</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Ah, there we go. I hope you'll excuse me returning from my unannounced hiatus with that brief plug, but I'm sure you'll agree that all of us need all the help we can get in this business. Aside from cleaning up quite a large amount of spam in the comments, that's all for now. More Grob is on its way soon...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">All the best,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Joel</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com54tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-86764482954706932013-04-08T13:24:00.003+01:002013-04-08T13:24:37.485+01:00The History of Grob BONUS EPISODE<iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F86932691"></iframe>
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">If you can’t use the embedded player above, you can listen at </span></span></span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/historyofgrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Soundcloud</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> or subscribe to the podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-history-of-grob/id578664104">iTunes</a> or via the </span><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/HistoryOfGrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">xml feed</a><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-23818122217959821732013-02-27T14:23:00.002+00:002013-02-27T14:23:15.518+00:00The History of Grob #04<iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F81051934"></iframe>
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">If you can’t use the embedded player above, you can listen at </span></span></span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/historyofgrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Soundcloud</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> or subscribe to the podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-history-of-grob/id578664104">iTunes</a> or via the </span><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/HistoryOfGrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">xml feed</a><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-67018862669229488672012-12-12T11:08:00.003+00:002012-12-12T11:08:53.887+00:00The History of Grob #03<iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F70945015"></iframe>
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">If you can’t use the embedded player above, you can listen at </span></span></span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/historyofgrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Soundcloud</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> or subscribe to the podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-history-of-grob/id578664104">iTunes</a> or via the </span><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/HistoryOfGrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">xml feed</a><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-29557267571474282042012-11-25T15:31:00.000+00:002012-11-25T15:31:28.939+00:00The History of Grob #02<iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="http://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F68779659&auto_play=false&show_artwork=true&color=ff7700"></iframe>
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">If you can’t use the embedded player above, you can listen at </span></span></span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/historyofgrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Soundcloud</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> or subscribe to the podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-history-of-grob/id578664104">iTunes</a> or via the </span><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/HistoryOfGrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">xml feed</a><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-27856164741468432482012-11-14T14:22:00.000+00:002012-11-15T08:32:20.644+00:00The History of Grob #01<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="http://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F67264576&auto_play=false&show_artwork=true&color=ff7700" width="100%"></iframe>
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">If you can’t use the embedded player above, you can listen at </span></span></span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/historyofgrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">Soundcloud</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> or subscribe to the podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-history-of-grob/id578664104">iTunes</a> or via the </span><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/HistoryOfGrob" style="background-color: white; color: #b4445c; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">xml feed</a><span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com657tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-9052744236927411032012-11-14T14:21:00.000+00:002012-11-15T08:40:42.964+00:00Go beyond your remit<br />
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Dear readers,</div>
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With <i>100 Ways To Write Badly Well </i>safely published and available to buy, I’m trying my hand at something new. For the most part, this blog has focused on the bad writing of fiction – implausible plot twists, awkward turns of phrase, unconvincing characters and so on. Meanwhile, non-fiction has got off all too lightly. It’s time to do something about that.</div>
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My new podcast, <i>The History of Grob</i>, is an attempt to tell the story of a fictional nation from the bronze age to the modern day and beyond. It will feature people, places and historical events which are entirely false, or at least significantly misrepresented.</div>
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I will post each episode on this blog as it is released, but you can also listen to it at <a href="http://soundcloud.com/historyofgrob">Soundcloud</a> or subscribe to the podcast on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-history-of-grob/id578664104">iTunes</a> or via the <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/HistoryOfGrob">xml feed</a>.</div>
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I hope you enjoy the podcast and feel that it does justice to this blog’s tradition of ridiculous and flippant self-indulgence.</div>
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All the best,</div>
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Joel</div>
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Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-63328042497422147232012-11-07T15:35:00.000+00:002012-11-07T15:35:10.078+00:00Get published<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1XQMOtde5Gi7A3UP5GMx6Ov411SawOGkqPs9_KcWE7NbfIwstv1tshhPU96dDzeoSEQdQa1aEfjdxGbVus0wPc8ljr6K34paoBPwo-FnixfYgwDGeU-ddhqK0pO9KR3x1RnCnVq-bmbl0/s1600/978-0-9573000-1-9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1XQMOtde5Gi7A3UP5GMx6Ov411SawOGkqPs9_KcWE7NbfIwstv1tshhPU96dDzeoSEQdQa1aEfjdxGbVus0wPc8ljr6K34paoBPwo-FnixfYgwDGeU-ddhqK0pO9KR3x1RnCnVq-bmbl0/s200/978-0-9573000-1-9.jpg" width="125" /></a>Dear readers,</div>
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I am delighted to announce the publication of the book <i>100 Ways To Write Badly Well</i> in both paperback and ebook. It’s a collection of some of the best bits of this blog along with a bunch of new pieces and it would make an excellent gift for any aspiring writer (even if that aspiring writer is yourself – go on, gift-wrap it and surprise yourself).</div>
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You can buy the paperback at <a href="http://www.nastylittlepress.org/books/100-ways-to-write-badly-well/">nastylittlepress.org</a> and the ebook at <a href="http://momentumbooks.com.au/books/100-ways-to-write-badly-well/">momentumbooks.com.au</a>. The paperback is beautifully designed, has a great cover and would make a fine addition to any bookshelf, whereas the ebook is fantastic value and you can have it in your hands instantly. Personally, I think you should buy one copy of each, but I understand that I may be biased.</div>
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The book wouldn’t have been possible without the support and feedback that I’ve had from all of you since I started this blog, so I’d like to take this opportunity to offer my sincere and exhaustive thanks. With your help, what started out as a pointless, frustrated satire gradually became a genuine celebration of the art of bad writing. Still pointless, of course, but joyously so.</div>
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All the best,</div>
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Joel</div>
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Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-63482027911097511742012-10-13T14:06:00.004+01:002012-10-13T14:07:28.997+01:00Use illustrations to distract from your writing<br />
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Dear readers,</div>
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<a href="http://www.springfields.mistral.co.uk/">Springfields Horticultural Society</a>, who originally commissioned by poem “Daffodils II: The Revenge” have further commissioned the wonderful <a href="http://www.musagrafica.com/">MusaGrafica</a> to illustrate the poem. Here it is...</div>
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<img alt="" border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6M0lH8-vPUUQTgLfuoqhRnM9ho8yq_QDiASOYEUn9oDzxVshOwh_uIPkPxETGSC5N8E3NUlAmFOQs2NeIzp2YHFuqkhoHSENBcrz4mV7YyN4pnfavF744ErE5YnAR_8KQoXSdTw2le8V0/s640/Daffodils-II_A4-(Web).jpg" title="" width="449" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Gill Sans;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">(<a href="https://sites.google.com/site/joelstickley/Daffodils-II_A4-%28Web%29.jpg">large version here</a>)</span></span></div>
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All the best,</div>
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Joel</div>
Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-11811193023466412212012-10-05T12:00:00.000+01:002012-10-05T12:00:17.210+01:00Judge a book by its cover<br />
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Dear readers,</div>
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Sometimes, terrible prose alone is not enough. Here are some invaluable resources for those of you wishing to get your writing the attention it deserves with a badly well designed cover:</div>
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<a href="http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.co.uk/">http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.co.uk</a></div>
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and</div>
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<a href="http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/">http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk</a></div>
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All the best,</div>
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Joel</div>
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Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-11600312588670871502012-10-03T16:01:00.000+01:002012-10-03T16:01:09.876+01:00Emulate your heroes<br />
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Dear readers,</div>
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Apologies for my absence. On the upside, the How To Write Badly Well book is out in the next few weeks – details to follow. In the meantime, here is an article on one of the greatest practitioners of writing badly well that the world has ever known:</div>
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<a href="http://www.firstthings.com/article/2012/09/brilliantly-bad-books">http://www.firstthings.com/article/2012/09/brilliantly-bad-books</a></div>
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(via <a href="http://www.metafilter.com/120522/Brilliantly-Bad-Books" target="_blank">Metafilter</a>)</div>
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All the best,</div>
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Joel</div>
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Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-69765977365261480162012-07-30T11:49:00.001+01:002012-07-30T11:49:45.250+01:00Focus on the wrong details in love poetry<br />
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<br />Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-88249640004897997482012-04-21T16:14:00.001+01:002012-04-21T16:14:04.698+01:00Write sequels to famous works of literature<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<br />Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-76147539132872594672012-04-04T12:00:00.000+01:002012-04-04T12:00:15.271+01:00Dangle your modifiers<br />
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Caked in dung and warm to the touch, Susie cleaned her horse's hooves with a careful precision. She stared out across the plains and wondered where Lorenzo was now. Long and hard, he had set out on a journey which could only lead to death. Wondering whose death it would be, an eagle wheeled across her vision as she sat, lost in thought. She stood up and patted her horse's flank, tail flicking away a cloud of flies. Four newly-cleaned hooves planted firmly on the ground, Susie hoisted herself up onto the animal's back and prepared to face the journey ahead, unpredictable and full of danger. She dug in her heels and the horse responded. With an enthusiastic whinny, she felt him find a comfortable rhythm and then, tired but determined, the miles flew away under her.</div>
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Dead or alive, she would find Lorenzo before he found her, cowering in some bar, most likely, like the worm he was - paint flaking, full of cheap beer and cheaper girls. Desperate and amoral, she would recruit whatever lowlifes she could find and, following her blindly, guide them to him. Smashed off their hinges, she would lead her hired guns through the saloon doors and, playing cards like a man with years left to live, she would see Lorenzo sitting there. Spitting hot metal, he would see her gun barrels flare for a moment and then, falling to the ground in a bullet-riddled heap, she would know that he was finally gone.</div>
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<br /></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-76694519329671281682012-04-02T12:00:00.000+01:002012-04-02T12:00:13.999+01:00Add [additional] detail by using [square] brackets<br />
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[Mysterious outlaw] Susie Navajo saddled up her horse, making sure every [leather] strap was [sufficiently] tightened before swinging herself [athletically] into the saddle. The dew on the [sedimentary] rocks around her glinted [with a strange and brittle magic] in the morning sun. She sniffed the air. This [she thought to herself] would be as good a day to die as any.</div>
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Moments later, Susie [Navajo] was urging her horse on, the two of them thundering [towards death or glory, though neither knew which [she, because the future was chaotic [and upredictable], he, because he was a horse [and so incapable of [that level of] abstract thought]]] across the [red] plains. One way or another, they would find [her arch-nemesis] Lorenzo and this thing - this nightmare [although not a literal nightmare] that had haunted her [although not literally haunted her] for her whole adult life - would be over [although not literally over, but more of that later].</div>
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<br /></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-27553520493594376762012-03-30T12:00:00.000+01:002012-03-30T12:00:11.513+01:00Over-use hyphens<br />
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Susie squinted un-easily into the sun-set. She had a feeling that some-where out there, Lorenzo was coming for her.</div>
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‘God-damn you,’ she murmured to her-self. Almost un-consciously, her hand drifted to her gun-belt and rested there, wait-ing. It had been nearly four-teen years now. May-be four-teen-and-a-half. Hadn’t she earned her-self some res-pite? How long could a man be drive-n by that kind of hat-red? How long be-fore it bur-ned a-way, leaving only ash-es be-hind? There was no-thing - ab-sol-ute-ly no-thing - she would-n't do to be able to a-band-on her past and be-gin a-fresh some-where el-se.</div>
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‘F---,’ s-he mut-te-red.</div>
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<br /></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-24741137584530122712012-03-28T13:39:00.004+01:002012-03-28T13:39:26.189+01:00Continue to sell books from a box in your garage<br />
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Dear readers,</div>
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Okay, that’s it for the book extracts – I still have some copies left, so drop me an email at <a href="mailto:writebadlywell@gmail.com">writebadlywell@gmail.com</a> if you’re interested.</div>
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All the best,</div>
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Joel</div>
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<br /></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-4762136495007357822012-03-28T13:36:00.002+01:002012-03-28T13:43:46.055+01:00Rely on your back catalogue #9<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2012/03/sell-books-from-box-in-your-garage.html" style="color: #b4445c;" target="_blank">previous post</a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">)</span></span><br />
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<b>Empty Glass</b></div>
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<i>A New Approach to Self-Help</i></div>
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<b>Introduction</b></div>
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Hello. My name is Dr Naïan Fedler. You don’t know me yet, but over the next two hundred and thirty-nine pages, you and I are going to go on a journey together. Along the way, we’ll encounter many obstacles. Together, we’re going to overcome those obstacles and end our journey exactly where we began, but wiser and with cold air in our lungs.</div>
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If this sounds familiar, it’s because what I’ve just described isn’t just the way this book works; it’s the way life works for each and every one of us. The story I’ve just outlined is one that you’re bound to recognise because it’s the very story you’re living right now – the story in which you are the main character. Also, I mentioned something similar in the introduction to my last book, <i>Think Yourself Lucky</i>, so you might remember it from there.</div>
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When you set out on the journey of life, you don’t know what to expect. Partly this is because you’re very young at the time, but partly it’s because life is unpredictable. In fact, I’d go one step further and say that life isn’t just unpredictable: it’s random. That’s a very hard word to fully understand, but it’s one that we’ll keep coming back to again and again in the course of this book. When you say the word “random”, a lot of people think of something like a game of dice or a lottery, but the truth is that the world we live in is far more complicated than we can possibly understand. Imagine a lottery where, instead of choosing numbers, you have to draw a doodle on a piece of paper and if your doodle matches precisely, millimetre for millimetre, the winning one, you get a prize that could be anything from eternal life to instant death. Except that you never get to see the winning doodle, or find out if you’ve won, until it’s far, far too late. And the rules change with every passing second. And no one’s quite sure if they’re actually playing or not. Or whether the game even exists.</div>
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If this sounds daunting, that’s because it is. The universe is infinitely complex and you can never hope to understand any part of it, let alone change any aspect of it in any meaningful way. Understanding this is the key to my approach, and the subject of this book’s first chapter, <i>You Are Nothing</i>.</div>
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In order to form a sense of self-worth, you must first recognise that there is not really, in any appreciable sense, such a thing as “self”. Far from being an autonomous and self-aware agent of physical action, you are little more than a ragged bundle of chemicals lost in the infinite chaos of an unintelligible universe. Seen from a perspective of unbiased objectivity, you are no more significant than the chair in which you are sitting, the air you breathe or the rotting orange peel you throw in your compost bin. In fact, one day you will become compost right along with that orange peel – your physical body will decay and become indistinguishable from the mulch under your feet. This is the subject of chapter two, <i>You Are Dying</i>.</div>
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In my professional capacity as a counsellor, a lot of people come to me looking for guidance. Often it’s because they feel lost, because they feel scared or because they’re worried that they lack direction in life. Over the years, I’ve thought about these problems and come up with a few answers. In a very simplified form, they go like this:</div>
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<li style="font: 13.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;">You should be scared.</li>
<li style="font: 13.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: justify;">There is no “direction” you can have other than the slow, inevitable march towards death and, thereafter, oblivion.</li>
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Sometimes, people are resistant to my approach. They say, “Naïan, surely there must be some kind of purpose to life? Or if not a purpose, then at least a way for me to stay afloat in this vast, bewildering sea of meaninglessness? Or, if nothing else, a way for me to get out of paying for this session?” But to them I say, “You, my friend,” (this is merely a turn of phrase – I am fully aware that the people I counsel are clients rather than friends and I would never transgress the boundaries of that professional relationship for both clinical and legal reasons) “are like a clumsy Egyptian boatman.” I then leave a gap of precisely two seconds before revealing the punchline: “You’re in denial!” This little joke helps to relieve the tension, but also serves to illustrate a valid psychological point. To deny the fundamental lack of meaning at the heart of all things is to deny a universal truth, and anyone trying to lead their life with that kind of contradiction in the back of their mind is going to end up, like our maladroit African friend, in some pretty deep water.</div>
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Some people try to solve the problem of meaninglessness by relying on the idea of a higher power. For some it’s a god or gods, for some it’s a commitment to furthering human understanding, for some it’s a devotion to altruistic works. Whatever form this delusion takes, my diagnosis is the same. I call these people “head-in-the-sand-birds” (the term “ostriches”, which I used in my previous books, has since been registered as a trademark by Dr Fenton McWheely, the author of <i>How Not To Grieve</i>). By denying the pointlessness of every aspect of existence, these people are setting up a destructive dichotomy, or <i>destrotomy</i>, at the centre of their spiritual lives. If they came to me for advice, I would tell them this: it is only by accepting the fundamental emptiness of all things that you can learn to give your life the value it deserves, which is none. We’ll discuss this in greater depth in chapter seven, <i>Nothing To Live For</i>.</div>
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As you read this book, you will come across ideas that challenge you and exercises you may find difficult. My approach to self-help is, I will be the first to admit, radically different from anything that has come before, but this is what makes it so powerful. Whether you’ve picked up this book as a result of bereavement, unemployment, marital breakdown or simply a lingering sense of dissatisfaction with life, I guarantee that by the time you finish reading it, you’ll be seeing things in a whole new way. Next to the dark emptiness of a soulless and chaotic world, your problems will simply fall away into the background. When you and I reach the end of our journey together and turn the last page of chapter thirteen, <i>Nothing Means Anything, So Don’t Worry</i>, I promise you that you’ll be a new person: a clear-sighted, rational and, above all, fundamentally empty person.</div>
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Thanks for reading.</div>
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<br /></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-82996794030138785422012-03-15T11:36:00.000+00:002012-03-15T11:36:01.688+00:00Rely on your back catalogue #8<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2012/03/sell-books-from-box-in-your-garage.html" style="color: #b4445c;" target="_blank">previous post</a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">)</span></span><br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">- Lunch Menu -</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Hellenic Mussels Braised in Vintage Burgundy</span></div>
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A delicate, piquant, confusing dish, evocative in equal parts of Mediterranean hubris and earthy, unfulfilling intercourse. Not suitable for vegans or recovering alcoholics.<br /><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Symmetrical Loins of Highland Quail Served on a Bed of Virgin Spinach and Celeriac Hearts</span></div>
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Our chef’s exacting standards for this dish demand that we source only the finest cuts of quail from a small farm high in the Hebridean hills, where the verdant fields of swaying heather lend a unique fragrance to the proprietor’s firm and matronly breasts.<br /><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Non-Sequential Unmarked Fillets of Manatee Presented Somewhat Obsequiously, as if to Atone for Some Previous Unspecified Misdeed</span></div>
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The subtle flavour of manatee is perfectly complemented by the unmistakable zesty overtones of human faeces in this remarkable and altogether unnecessary dish. The characteristic avuncular aroma is due to the inclusion of nine varieties of unidentifiable cheese at the basting stage. This dish has been variously described as “holothurian”, “pancreatic” and “fish”.<br /><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Your Pride</span></div>
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In this unique and challenging dish, our Michelin listed chef will come to your table and present you with a mobile telephone, whereupon you will be expected to contact, in chronological order, every single person you have ever met and apologise to each of them in turn for your many failings as a human being. This will include, but will not be limited to: your arrogance, your selfishness, your pretension, your tendency to be an inconsiderate lover, your poor personal hygiene and your staggering, chronic insincerity. This will be followed by coffee and a selection of Baltic cheeses.<br /><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-57323135029283232322012-03-13T13:26:00.002+00:002012-03-13T13:26:59.765+00:00Rely on your back catalogue #7<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2012/03/sell-books-from-box-in-your-garage.html" style="color: #b4445c;" target="_blank">previous post</a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">)</span></span><br />
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<b><b>WARNING!</b></b></div>
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Any baggage left unattended will be removed</div>
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and destroyed, no matter how unlikely it is that</div>
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fanatical terrorists waging a holy war against</div>
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Western civilisation would conceal an explosive</div>
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device in a bright pink Miffy rucksack.</div>
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<br /></div>
</b><br />
<br />Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-4234842401957540072012-03-12T11:28:00.001+00:002012-03-12T11:29:48.635+00:00Rely on your back catalogue #6<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2012/03/sell-books-from-box-in-your-garage.html" style="color: #b4445c;" target="_blank">previous post</a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier; font-size: 11px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">)</span></span><br />
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>From: </b>opportunity</div>
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<b>To:</b> temp-032@alton-associates.co.uk</div>
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<b>Subject: </b>1,800,000 USD For You</div>
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<b>Message:</b></div>
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<b></b></div>
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Dear Friend,</div>
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<br /></div>
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I know this might seem a bit unlikely, but I’m a Nigerian Prince in need of your help.</div>
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You see, I’ve got approximately $1,800,000 in the form of oil company shares, but it’s all tied up in this quite complicated arrangement to do with inheritances and military coups; I won’t bore you with the details. To cut to the chase, I need you to help me get this money out of the country.</div>
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I know you must be wondering why I approached you. After all, you have no formal connection with the Nigerian government and precious little experience of international money laundering. Surely, you ask yourself, I could have used my political contacts to find a more suitable business partner – a diplomat, perhaps, or the CEO of a multinational company. However, I can assure you that, of all the options open to me, picking an email address at random from a softcore pornography website’s mailing list did genuinely present itself as the most logical course of action in this delicate situation.</div>
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I know this might seem like an uncertain incentive, but in return for your help in this matter, I can promise you by way of reward all the money that this sum will accrue in the form of interest during the time it will take to complete the transfer. I don’t know how your high-street bank’s graduate account deals with things like international banker’s drafts for almost two million dollars, but I imagine you’ll probably make about $50,000 from the transaction.</div>
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Here’s where it gets a bit embarrassing. You see, there are certain technicalities with a transaction of this size which must be taken into account. The paperwork involved is frankly bewildering and I’m sure you don’t want to know all the ins and outs of it. Suffice it to say, I’m going to need you to send me $300 just to ‘get the ball rolling’, so to speak. This is to cover admin costs, postage etc. and is no cause at all for suspicion.</div>
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I appreciate that you might be sceptical. After all, if I’m a Nigerian Prince with almost two million dollars at my disposal, why can’t I afford $300 for admin costs? Believe me, I’m as confused as you are to find myself in this odd and, let’s be honest, highly unlikely situation. However, this is where I find myself, the rightful heir to the throne of a large and relatively prosperous African nation – sending emails to strangers asking for small amounts of money in order to buy stamps and padded envelopes. In your position, I would no doubt be sceptical as well.</div>
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All I would ask you to do is to place yourself in my shoes for a second and consider what constitutes the right course of action. All I’m asking is that you give a few moments of your time to help a fellow human being in need and consequently make $50,000 tax free. Is that really too much to ask? If you decide that you cannot help me, I will regretfully bid you farewell and move onto the next email address on my list – I feel certain that there is someone on the wildwetwhores.com mailing list who can help me. What I will say, though, is that this kind of arrangement can be reciprocal. So, when you next find yourself with $1,800,000 you need to get out of the country, I hope you won’t hesitate to contact me for help.</div>
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All the best,</div>
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<br /></div>
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A Nigerian Prince.<br />
<br /></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-55471259659125404302012-03-09T12:00:00.000+00:002012-03-09T12:00:02.047+00:00Rely on your back catalogue #5<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2012/03/sell-books-from-box-in-your-garage.html" style="color: #b4445c;" target="_blank">previous post</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">)</span></span></div>
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Teddy’s SMS Loans</div>
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<i>From £5 to £100,000</i></div>
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Looking for a low-cost loan but too busy getting into all that debt to pick up the phone? No worries! Teddy’s SMS Loans are the solution!</div>
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<b>Great! How does it work?</b></div>
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Simply text your name, the amount you wish to borrow, the names of all the most important people in your life and your bank account details to 82666. We’ll do the rest. </div>
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<b>That seems a little too easy…</b></div>
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It is! Our expert team of computer ‘experts’ are able to find out any information we need to know about you from your bank account details. If banks have already run complicated, lengthy checks, there’s no need for us to bother! You’ll have the money in your account the next working day!</div>
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<b>Why do you need to know how many loved ones I have?</b></div>
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To determine how much money we can lend you. SMS Loans isn’t one of those scary finance companies that takes away people’s cars or houses. You don’t need a car or a house to get a loan with us. You don’t even need a job or a regular income. If for some reason you can’t keep up your payments, one of our ‘guys’ will pay a visit to one of your loved ones and see if we can’t find a solution. If the problem persists, we’ll visit the next one on your list and so on and so on. The more loved ones, the more money you can borrow. Simple.</div>
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<b>Don’t I need to sign something?</b></div>
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What is this, the dark ages? Signatures are a thing of the past. These days, entering into a life-changing legal agreement is as easy as coughing at an auction. By texting your loan request to 82666, you automatically duck most of the red tape the government puts in the way of loan requests. Just see the “send” button as the dotted line and your thumb as all the legal advice you’ll ever need.</div>
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<b>And you’ve got great interest rates, right?</b></div>
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Of course we have. We love our interest rates. Don’t you think if we were going to rip you off we’d have made our logo a picture of Hitler or something? You’re busy – you haven’t got time to go and check all this stuff out, so just pick up your phone right now and <i>Trust the Teddy!</i></div>
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For full terms and conditions go to www.teddyssmsloans.com/theboringbits We experience a high volume of traffic through our website and this page may take between 3 and 8 hours to load. Remember, when looking for a loan, time is of the essence. <i>What if they all go? </i>Don’t miss out. Trust the Teddy!</div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128460350781036829.post-16926024358696228942012-03-08T12:00:00.000+00:002012-03-08T15:35:47.191+00:00Rely on your back catalogue #4<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2012/03/sell-books-from-box-in-your-garage.html" style="color: #b4445c;" target="_blank">previous post</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #111111; font-family: 'Gill Sans'; font-size: 14px;">)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>SITCOM CENTRAL</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">05:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">05:30 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">06:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">06:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">07:00 Upside Town</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">07:30 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">08:00 Five Kids And A Dog Called Jack</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">08:30 Five Kids And A Dog Called Jack</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">09:00 Capital Punishment</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">09:30 Capital Punishment</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10:00 Rodeo Dad</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10:30 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11:00 Rodeo Dad</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">12:00 Rodeo Dad</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">12:30 Upside Town</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">13:00 Four Kids And A Dog Called Jack</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">13:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">14:00 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">14:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15:00 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">16:00 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">16:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">17:00 Capital Punishment</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">17:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">18:00 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">18:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">19:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All hell breaks loose when Beth finds a family of immigrants living in her garage and Dougie gets a new job at the Homeland Security Department.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 3073-5466-112</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">19:30 Capital Punishment</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There’s a new face on death row when Frank’s lawyer lets him down. Unfortunately, as love-struck Jimmy is about to find out, Frank isn’t the only one who’s lost his appeal.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 8492-6066-320</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">20:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Howard is having trouble adjusting to his new gender, while Beth and Dougie have been misdiagnosed with each other’s cancers after a mix-up at the hospital.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 0065-9811-002</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">20:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In an act of cruel and premeditated brutality, Latisha forces Chantelle to “talk to the hand”. There’s also a tedious subplot involving a lost cat.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 5444-9007-656</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">21:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The gang are caught up in a tense hostage situation and for some reason, Dougie is suffering from uncontrollable flatulence. The whole things smacks of lazy writing.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 2047-6340-812</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">21:30 Rodeo Dad</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After 136 episodes, Mikey has finally begun to suspect that his father is in fact a professional rodeo clown in this unfunny and ill-thought-through sitcom.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 2210-8654-000</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">22:00 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh God, this one again. Well, the plot is pretty much the same every time, so my summary becomes superfluous if you’ve ever had the misfortune to see an episode.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 2020-5478-941</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">22:30 Upside Town</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I mean, have you actually watched these things? Have you ever actually sat down and watched them? Week after week, episode after episode. It’s just relentless.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 8005-7403-997</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">23:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A misunderstanding takes place. One character is hilariously camp and makes innuendos. Someone repeats someone else but changes the word order slightly. There must be more to life than this.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 1111-4723-067</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">23:30 Capital Punishment</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I mean, what’s it all for? What’s it actually for, this stuff? What is it supposed to do? I can’t remember the last time I laughed. I mean, a real, honest belly-laugh that makes you feel that everything might just be alright after all. What happened to them? I’m sure I used to laugh.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 6300-8726-771</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">00:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is it only me, or does everyone feel like this? When did we stop laughing? When did “comedy” become a genre instead of a device and lose all its power? These things aren’t comedy. They aren’t funny. They don’t make life better.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 1010-7465-333</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">00:30 Rodeo Dad</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mikey spooks the horses whilst rehearsing for the big talent show. Steve loses his hat. Miranda discovers she is pregnant. But who’s the father?</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(R) (S) 8349-0766-150</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">01:00 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">01:30 Three Kids And A Dog Called Jack</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">02:00 Capital Punishment</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">02:30 Two Kids And A Dog Called Jack</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">03:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">03:30 Don’t Go There</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">04:00 Dougie, Howard & Beth</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">04:30 Two Kids And The Tattered Remains Of A Collar</span></div>
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<br /></div>Joel Stickleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14270604410152020281noreply@blogger.com20