How To Write Badly Well

Change sentence structure for the benefit of your rhyme scheme

Along the winding paths we slowly walked, And all the while we chatted, spoke and talked. ‘So short is life,’ you made the valid point, ...

Create subplots which bear no relation to the main story

Meanwhile, the ant whose escape from the sugar bowl had been witnessed by Mary at the pre-wedding dinner was struggling to return the sugar...

Begin your novel with the protagonist getting out of bed and seeing that it is raining outside, which perfectly mirrors his life

Jake opened his eyes and heard the rain battering against the outside of the glass window. Well, he thought grimly, it’s raining outside, a...

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