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Step by painful step, we approached the altar at the heart of the temple. Sunlight was falling in a shaft from a hole in the cave ceiling far above, bathing the rough stone plinth in golden light.

‘OMG,’ muttered Hubert, reverentially. I turned and motioned for him to be silent. I gave no credence to villagers’ tales of The Old Ones, but there was no knowing who – or what – lurked in the temple’s shadows. If we were being watched, as I felt we were, it was not merely for teh lulz.

‘BRB,’ I whispered, edging towards the altar. The air seemed to tighten around me. There was a time when I would have LOLed at those who shrank in fear from this place, dismissing them as noobs or worse, but now I was here, the possibility of powers ancient, terrible and 1337 beyond comprehension felt all too real. I stopped and raised my head, looking to the shaft of light far above.

‘im in ur temple, stealin ur relix,’ I whispered.