Rely on your back catalogue #1

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

Optimo HairFlow Tea Tree, Jojoba and Hake Shampoo is infused with a subtle blend of fragrances designed to invigorate, enliven and inspire. After just three weeks using it twice a day, you’ll be feeling so much extra confidence that your life will improve immeasurably in every way. You will find discarded money in gutters. You will win competitions you didn’t even enter. You will almost certainly get a promotion at work. Using Optimo Hairflow Shampoo will actually be earning you money, which makes that extra 60p a bottle over the supermarket’s own-brand shampoo seem more than worthwhile. In fact, it might be wise to invest your newfound wealth in buying more Optimo HairFlow Shampoo. This will give you a further boost of self-worth, spurring you on to even greater heights and allowing you to purchase yet more Optima products. Ultimately, this process will result in you having dominion over all the peoples of the earth and issuing commands from the highest minaret of your solid gold palace, where you bathe all day in a vast Olympic-sized swimming pool of shampoo, looking down on the lowly masses beneath you and laughing and laughing and laughing.

For best results, use with Optimo HairFlow Conditioner. Avoid contact with eyes, teeth and lawyers.