‘I’m afraid she’s dead,’ unveiled the doctor. A silence settled on the room as the family took this in.
‘You’re sure?’ proclaimed Lois, quietly. The doctor nodded.
‘I’m terribly sorry,’ he conversed. ‘It was a peaceful end.’
‘Did she...’ Lois vocalised. ‘Did she have any last words?’
‘Yes,’ nodded the doctor, nodding. ‘She epitaphed a few words before she left us. “Tell my children I love them,” she stated. Then she recapitulated “all of them,” and shortly after that, she went.’
‘I can’t believe it,’ philosophised Lois. ‘I can’t believe she’s gone.’
‘I’m so terribly sorry,’ the doctor gushed.
‘Can I ask a question?’ questioned Lois.
‘Of course,’ dialogued the doctor.
‘If we had brought her in sooner,’ she began, ‘is there anything we could have done,’ she continued, ‘to give her more time?’ she concluded, questioningly.
‘I... I’m afraid not,’ the doctor ejaculated.
I know I’ve covered this before, but the previous example wasn’t up to much, so here’s a new one.
ReplyDeletePerfect ending!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorites is:
ReplyDelete"Shut up, he explained."
-- Ring Lardner, The Young Immigrants, 1920
One I'm hoping to use is "'Get the f*** down!"' he hinted."
ReplyDeleteVery well ... typed.
ReplyDeleteThe stroke of genius is "she went."
ReplyDeleteI always like a story with a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteI see what you did there
DeleteI love this! There's not a lot more that can be said.
ReplyDeleteThis was great. I think I'd rather enjoy some more sequels.
ReplyDeleteI love this more than anything. I love it so much I may never say anything again.
ReplyDelete"Shit! What about the will?" the man in the corner expectorated.
ReplyDelete"Witty and informative," she drizzled
ReplyDelete"'yes', nodded the doctor, nodding." A bit redundant, no?
ReplyDeleteYou just made it doubly redundant by quoting it!
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the "Reasoning with Vampire" blog? Some of those are an exercise in banishing normal dialogue tags
ReplyDeleteI love Sherlock Holmes stories, but Conan Doyle did make poor old Dr Watson ejaculate all over the place. It makes for quite funny reading at times.
ReplyDeletegood and very funny
ReplyDeletepriceless ending
ReplyDelete‘Yes,’ nodded the doctor, nodding. ‘She epitaphed a few words before she left us. “Tell my children I love them,” she stated. Then she recapitulated “all of them,” and shortly after that, she went.’
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Perfect. I hate it when people use "nodded" or "smiled" as a synonym for "said."
Love this blog! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI love how all the comments begin with ____ said…
ReplyDeleteCan't agree about use of "said". All the others you quote are full of attitude; "said" is invisible, modest, reassuring. The real alternative to "said" is a play script, where layout carries the meaning.
ReplyDelete'It's not fair!' stamped the child, stamping.
ReplyDeleteSorry but some of your alternatives sound sooo bad, like you have a thesaurus beside you and you're just sticking in an alternative. I really don't think you need to use 'said' or whatever all the time sometimes the conversation flows so much better without it.
ReplyDelete"Clearly, you're not fully committed to learning to write badly well," the commenter accused.
DeleteHa ha! That's what SHE .... ejaculated?
DeleteOh wow
DeleteI was wondering when somebody would ejaculate.
ReplyDelete"Some people are taking way this too seriously," she mused matter-of-factly with a wide grin.
ReplyDelete"Ms. Lois," panted the doctor, "I don't know why you started doing that, nor do I know why I let you. However, as I said, there's nothing you could have done to give her more time."
ReplyDeleteAn awkward silence fell.
"Especially," he added, "not that."
All these dialogues are very good. They had a very interesting conversation. Now it's time to avail Appointment Setting for more information.
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ReplyDeleteAvoiding the overuse of the word "said" in writing can improve the variety and flow of dialogue attributions. Alternatives to "said" include "exclaimed," "whispered," "muttered," "shouted," "sighed," "asked," "replied," "inquired," "agreed," and "suggested." Exclaimed is used for loud or excited speech, while whispered indicates a low or hushed tone. Muttered suggests a low, indistinct voice, while shouted conveys loud or forceful speech. Sighed indicates a resigned or weary manner. "Asked" specifies asking a question, while "replied" is used to respond to something previously said. "Inquired" is asking for information, while "agreed" shows agreement with something previously said. "Suggested" suggests an idea or course of action. These alternatives should be used sparingly and appropriately, depending on the tone and context of the writing. Overusing any word or phrase can become distracting, so strive for variety and balance in dialogue attributions Abogado de DUI Fairfax VA.
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ReplyDelete"Banish 'Said' From Your Vocabulary" encourages writers to enhance their dialogue by replacing overused words like "said" with more expressive alternatives. By using varied dialogue tags and actions, this approach adds depth and emotion to conversations, making writing more engaging and dynamic for readers while avoiding repetition.
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