Dear readers,
To celebrate two months of How To Write Badly Well (you take your milestones where you can get them in this game), I’m throwing the doors open, Willy Wonka style. The brief is simple: write up to 300 words as badly well as you can and email them to writebadlywell@gmail.com. I’ll post the best badly-well-written entry on the blog and send the author a copy of Who Writes This Crap? by Luke Wright and myself.
That is all. Good day.
suddenly the tent flap slowly opened. in the jungle clearing lay the poached elephant. He jumped as a voice from his behind said, "look, they've poached the last elephant."
ReplyDeleteI said, Good DAY, sir!!
ReplyDeleteGosh, you'd need a HUGE saucepan to poach an elephant.
ReplyDeleteIs there a date the submissions need to be in by? I'm definitely down for doing this but I have 4 essays to write for school over the next two weeks...not very fun.
ReplyDeleteI was just checking out the book on Amazon, and wanted to say that I LOVE the back cover. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteIs there a deadline? I don't want to rush my masterpiece if I don't have to.
ReplyDeleteAh! A deadline. I knew there was something I'd forgotten. Let's say the end of the month.
ReplyDeleteare we supposed to come up with new rules, or employ all the rules you have laid down to write as badly well as we can?
ReplyDeleteWhatever it takes to produce the worst writing you can muster. There's no need to limit yourself to one technique; feel free to play dirty.
ReplyDeleteI just sent my submission. It was only 270 characters long, I hope you'll forgive me.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the new one? I want a new one!
ReplyDeleteCan I just quote Twilight?
ReplyDeleteHow do I access your first post or an explanation of what you mean by writing badly well?
ReplyDeleteYou can ask that question, right here, which will lead to this explanation:
ReplyDeleteWriting is hard. Writing perfectly may be impossible. Writing badly, however, is something that everyone can do. Therefore, why waste time trying to do the impossible? Instead, hone your skills in being as good as you can at being bad. After all, if a thing's worth doing badly, it's worth doing badly well.
Writing badly well is a lot like writing well. You're just trying for different reactions in the reader.
ReplyDeleteoops. I probably wrote so badly well......... like, no subject line...............always good for a laugh when you're trying to run a blogsite
ReplyDeleteSo... where's the winning entry?
ReplyDeleteWinning entry: http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2009/12/get-someone-else-to-do-it-for-you.html
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joel. Parts of that entry were distressingly good. Sarah doesn't manage that consistency of depth-plumbing that puts you in a league of your own.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds quite interesting to try it. I ain't really in English but I can give it a try.
ReplyDeleteWhoever asked to quote twilight (it does not deserve the capital T), "marry me?"
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