Explain how clever you are


I was perambulating unassumingly along the boulevard (this being the correct term for the particular, almost arbour-like (although not, it must be pointed out, arbouresque), thoroughfare upon which I was located) on a solstitial morning in June (I mention the precise month only because I fear my peracute polyonymy might bamboozle you by dint of sheer perspicuity) when I happened upon (or, indeed, happened to happen upon, depending on the degree of predestination or otherwise your own philosophy, dear reader, allows you to countenance) a particularly dentigerous (which is to say, imbued with a denticulated maw of considerable significance) specimen of Canis Lupus Familiaris (of the order Carnivora, the class Mammalia, the phylum Chordata and, as I am sure you have ascertained by this point, the kingdom Animalia). This, as you will shortly realise, was a chance happening (again, the question of fate in this scenario is, as you might put it, “up for grabs”) imbued with a not inconsiderable semiological heft. For now, though, do not overtax yourself with interpretive endeavours, dear reader; all (inasmuch as such a term can be applied to the, I’m sure you can find no way to adequately deny, infinitely fractured world in which we reside) shall be revealed.

19 comments:

  1. I agree! This this this is the most infuriating thing you can read.

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  2. brackets within brackets is/are a beautiful thing

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  3. I think "by stint of" should be "by dint of".

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  4. i could not help but "overtax" myself "with interpretive endeavours".

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  5. I was walking along the boulevard on a sunny morning in June, when I happened upon a dog.

    The End

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    Replies
    1. Alternatively:
      I saw a dog on the boulevard.

      Delete
  6. Im worried--your writing is starting to make sense...

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  7. This seems like a very effective way of promoting illiteracy.

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  8. Thanks John – I’ve changed it. There’s a nice irony in a malapropism cropping up during a self-satisfied account of how articulate the author is, but I can’t claim that was intentional.

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  9. I'd read more of this. Hope the narrator gets probed by an alien eventually.

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  10. well if it had been December after all, that would have changed Everything. I, for one, am grateful for the precision.

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  11. It's like reading someone trying to write Dr. Spock dialogue in fan-fiction...

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  12. That's basically Victor Hugo's writing style in a nutshell. Though to be fair, he can actually pull it off.

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  13. You've been invaded by spammers, I see

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