Lifting his vibro-fork to his mouth, Colonel Daringman watched the exquisite spectacle of planet-rise through the plexi-viewport. He took a bite of his lightly marinated nutribeef simsteak.
‘Needs more NaCl-based SupaFlav flavour enhancer,’ he muttered to himself. The meal had been prepared to his exacting standards by the ship’s Cyber Hospitality Electro-Famulus, but there was always room for improvements to the AI’s food preparation algorithms. He made a subconscious neural-jack-formatted mental note to update the C.H.E.F. unit’s programming.
Just then, the A.A.A. (Audio Alert Alarm) began emitting the high-pitched ringing noise known as “spidiffling.”
‘Zakradav grakhl!’ swore the Colonel.
this is exactly how I'd write it :O
ReplyDelete*ashamed*
Boldy going forwards cos we can't find reverse.
ReplyDelete:-)
x
I meant boldly! DARN!
ReplyDeleteLOL!
In science fiction circles this is known as "calling a rabbit a smeerp". It is an all too common practice...
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious. In critique trades, I've actually read stuff like this.
ReplyDeleteI was fractionally disappointed that the Colonel didn't say "Frak!" or even "Frell!" (or even "Smeg!", come to that.)
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work. I've been looking forwards to some SF evisceration for a while.
"Daringman" cracked me up. That is such a science fiction-y, masculine name. This character sounds so daring. And also manly.
ReplyDeleteDude yer killin me
ReplyDeleteA bit more on the Smeerp trope: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CallARabbitASmeerp
ReplyDeleteI would read this!! Of all the examples you've given -all of which we love- this is the first one that I could bear to read further. Maybe there's a lesson here - bad sci-fi is more forgiving than bad anything else... hmmm (strokes imaginery beard)
ReplyDeleteWell that's good news, because there are four more instalments on the way. I might try this in future with other genres (historical romance, anyone?), but SF seemed like a good starting point.
ReplyDelete