Give your characters distinctive idioms

‘Dae ye nae ken?’ spluttered Hamish, spilling whisky on his sporran. ‘I cannae be tha’ mush clerrer.' Bronco frowned at him.
‘Well, gee whizz,’ he said. ‘I’m havin’ the darndest time tryin’ a foller yer. Could’ya speak a liddle slower, pardner?’
‘Ah, tae hell with ye,’ muttered Hamish.
‘I believe what our Caledonian friend is attempting to convey,’ lisped Archibald over the rim of his teacup, ‘is that he is somewhat dissatisfied with the manner in which he is being addressed by your good self. Is that right, old chap?’
‘Aye,’ the red-haired drunkard grumbled. ‘An i’s no jus’ Yankie-boy, neither. Ye’s all a shoor o’ racists.’ Before he could elaborate, however, the conversation was interrupted by the late arrival of Ahmed.


  1. Tea for four is always a bad idea.



  2. Seems that this also includes "Use offensive stereotypes"... ;-)

  3. Dying to read what Ahmed had to say!

  4. Also includes "Phonetically spell out dialects"

    Distinctive idioms is the least prevalent thing here.

  5. i think joel was Right to leave ahmed out of it!
    (if we have to go all american-stereotypical, the conversation would have ended with a blast. literally speaking.)

  6. "I no read thees muy good, I no speak Eengles mooch..."
    "Eet ees, how you say, funny."

  7. Ahmed and his girlfriend Kumiko, no doubt.