Billy “Fast-Hands” Legume was not a man who enjoyed being made a fool of, but as he stood in the dusty town square, his hand hovering uncertainly over his holstered pistol, he couldn’t help but feel that someone somewhere was laughing at him. Under the town clock, on the far side of the square, the werewolf stretched in readiness, its haunches sinking low to the ground. Billy licked his parched lips. Now he had a chance to look at it, the creature struck him as strangely vulnerable, its soft brown eyes holding a spark of the compassion he imagined could one day blossom into something like love. Suddenly, the werewolf rose into the air, surrounded by the faint blue glow of quantum repulsor fields.
‘What the?’ Billy mumbled.
‘A minor setback, nothing more,’ said his manservant Bearsonly, brushing a speck of dust from his jacket. ‘We shall deal with the beast.’
Before they could do anything, however, the ground before them was torn asunder and a thunderous noise, like to the report of one thousand thousand cannons, announced the long-foretold rising of Kgathrhyxl, Lord of the Maelstrom.
Ace!
ReplyDeleteHave you read Space Captain Smith? It's basically like this.
ReplyDelete"the creature struck him as strangely vulnerable, its soft brown eyes holding a spark of the compassion he imagined could one day blossom into something like love."
ReplyDeleteOf course. Haha.
Witty, as always. :)
Werewolf-Sci-fi-Westerns are like my favorite!
ReplyDeleteI read this as "mixed genders" and was waiting for a transvestite transgender transatlantic transfat episode of lady vampire killing space dracula vs ghostly chicklit.
ReplyDeleteBut I was wrong. I just can't read.
:-)
x
hahaha I think I'd love a book like this :)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. i want more.
ReplyDeleteI was going to post that HAY I ACTUALLY LIKE MIXING GENRES >:( and then I read this and... I actually do kind of like it. I don't know what that says about me.
ReplyDeleteI was totally on board with the werewolves in the western setting.... but then...huh...
ReplyDeleteMixing genres can be quite entertaining, but some people take it too far... or are just not good enough writers to pull it of.
ReplyDeleteWell illustrated, Mr. Stickley. Once again, I doff imaginary my cap to you. :)
Drop either the man-servent or the repulsor-fields. Otherwise: Perfect.
ReplyDeleteStephen King, Frank Herbert, Quentin Tarantino, and a million comic book fans might disagree with this post.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with this post - I think mixing genres is usually a good thing, if it's done well.
ReplyDeleteHilarious post, though.
Sorry, I've got no choice but to fail this one.
ReplyDeleteGenre-mixing happens all the time, and there's far, far too much good stuff for this to be right.
Just because you can write it in a bad way, doesn't mean the concept itself is bad.
Actually, now I really want to read werewolf/cowboy romance. Hmmm, would a male werewolf or a female werewolf be more fun?
ReplyDeleteFirefly was a sci-fi western, which had a fantastical creature attached- Reavers.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm not exactly seeing the problem. It won't make the mainstream best seller, but not that far out either.
I don't think it's the mixing genres that is the reason why this is a great big fail so much as the rotten writing in the first place ;)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.zudacomics.com/high_moon
ReplyDeleteWerewolf western. You're welcome :)
A bit more on topic: I was taking this post as being a caution against mixing TOO MANY genres, not as being against the well-handled mixing of a few compatible ones.
@asrai
ReplyDeleteReavers aren't fantastical.
Jeez.
They're more like zombie infection than fantasy.
Werewolf western would be awesome.
ReplyDeleteAlso, reavers weren't even zombies, they were just bug-fuck nuts and really aggressive.
I lost it at "quantum repulsor fields." Best thing ever.
ReplyDelete