(With thanks to this “Blog.”)
The sun was just “setting” when I arrived home. The smell of “bread” and the sound of “laughter” drifted across the field. Already, the stresses of the day seemed like a “distant memory.” I ran the last few yards, then rapped my fist against the “door” and stepped into the kitchen.
‘I’m home,’ I said, partly to myself and partly to “Susan.” She turned to look at me, a “smile” lighting up her “face.”
‘You were gone so long,’ she said, giving me a “hug.” ‘I was getting “worried.” Where were you?’
‘“Nowhere,”’ I said. ‘“Nowhere” at all.’ I glanced over her shoulder. ‘Are you “baking?”’
‘Yes.’ She smiled. ‘I’m really “glad” you’re home.’
This is done "everywhere" on the internets. Quotes are "used" as an "intensifier." I "really" mean it.
ReplyDeleteGreengrocers of the world, unite!
ReplyDeleteI've seen people on message boards who seem to think this is the standard way of writing anything.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I think there is something far more sinister at "play" here? Is the "wife" really "baking" or is she in reality a disfigured monster, devouring all who visit, and the "truth" is being hidden in the "storytelling?
ReplyDeleteI stumbled across a blog devoted to this "very" subject the other day. The quote marks alwasy make things sound sarcastic. e.g. Love your "blog" Joel. 8-)
ReplyDeleteSorry - blog I mentioned is: unnecessaryquotes.com
ReplyDeletePerhaps you mean:
ReplyDelete"Use" quotation marks for no "apparent" reason.
Back in the dark ages when I learned to write, I was led to believe that using quotation marks in this way meant more or less the opposite of what you said. For example, "He says he's 'straight.'"
ReplyDeleteI have "never" seen this done "anywhere." I must be really "out of it."
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like an excited chat with Joey from Friends.
ReplyDeleteWell, in handwritten texts quotes are often used where bold or italics would be in print. I'm not surprised to see it transfer to the Net.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that many words in italics would be horrible, too.
i agree with the sentiment that it makes everything sound sarcastic.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, why isn't there punctuation to denote sarcasm?
Some people I know have started to just add the word 'sarcasm' after writing something sarcastic.
ReplyDeleteI love the way people use quotation marks. They really seem to know exactly what they're for, and what they aren't for. Sarcasm.
Love this! Hilarious!
ReplyDelete"Loving" this "blog"...
ReplyDeleteAugh, it burns. I have a facebook friend who writes like this. When I was in Pirates of Penzance with her, we all signed a poster for the director, and she wrote, "Thanks, blank, you've been 'amazing.'" She also writes things like, "I have 'tennis fever.'" Or "I'm craving some 'night tennis.'" :-/
ReplyDelete@anonymous: Oh, there *is* "punctuation" for "sarcasm". "Lots" of it on this "blog".
ReplyDeleteJoel, I think the second line would read better as
...the "sound" of laughter drifted "across" the field... Don't you agree?
Yes, I “agree."
ReplyDeleteI must laugh here because my bus has a sign that says:
ReplyDeletetransfers given
'ONLY'
at time of payment
why? those aren't even quotation marks! and if they were, it would be suggesting doubt on the word *only*.
I must laugh here because my bus has a sign that says:
ReplyDeletetransfers given
'ONLY'
at time of payment
why? those aren't even quotation marks! and if they were, it would be suggesting doubt on the word *only*.
I once went to a resturant which did this EVERYWHERE. bathroom signs were "women" and "men", some places were employees "only", they served "hamburgers" and "fish", onion rings were "$3.00", the resturant was open from "10" am to "9" pm, it was exhasting to look at!
ReplyDelete