Write in a modern, accessible way


Step by painful step, we approached the altar at the heart of the temple. Sunlight was falling in a shaft from a hole in the cave ceiling far above, bathing the rough stone plinth in golden light.
‘OMG,’ muttered Hubert, reverentially. I turned and motioned for him to be silent. I gave no credence to villagers’ tales of The Old Ones, but there was no knowing who – or what – lurked in the temple’s shadows. If we were being watched, as I felt we were, it was not merely for teh lulz.
‘BRB,’ I whispered, edging towards the altar. The air seemed to tighten around me. There was a time when I would have LOLed at those who shrank in fear from this place, dismissing them as noobs or worse, but now I was here, the possibility of powers ancient, terrible and 1337 beyond comprehension felt all too real. I stopped and raised my head, looking to the shaft of light far above.
‘im in ur temple, stealin ur relix,’ I whispered.

23 comments:

  1. And then they twittered, blogged and facebooked. Nuff said.
    :-)

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  2. Have you ever read "Unreal Estate" by Twoflowr? It contains a chapter about gamers, who all talk like this!

    http://www.pixelscapes.com/unrealestate/unreal07.html

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  3. TPTB want you to know: "all my praiz is belong to U! m@d rulez0r skillz!!1!one1!"

    by the way, is writing badly that consequently well still parody or already constrained writing a la oulipo?

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  4. I'd love it if the entire internet turned out to be a bizarre dadaist experiment started in the fifties to see how convoluted written slang could become over time.

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  5. My least favorite internet word is "Walla". Took me several minutes to figure it out the first time I saw it on a forum. Could have fit in this post somewhere I'm sure.

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    1. Soooo ... What does it mean? Inquiring minds want to know.

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  6. "Whatevs," said the altar. "The curse will pwn you."

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  7. Temple got murked, innit. Sick. (Seriously, you are sick).

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  8. All your temple relix are belong to us!

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  9. Sadly, I don't know what a 'noob' is - which I suspect may mean I am one ...
    and I don't know what teh lulz or 1337 are either -
    so I'm going home to have a good cry.

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  10. "Ceiling God iz watching u steal," thought the mysterious watcher.

    (This is great. I loved it so much.)

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  11. btw, i haz a lulz b/c uv this. :)

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  12. although it is funny when talking about it, internet language is quite sad, like the kind of thing which people with speech disabilities would use

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  13. This would actually be almost reasonable if the characters were playing an MMO...

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