Write when you’re hungry


Bertha looked up. The building in front of her was the shape of a baguette standing on its end and the colour of mushroom soup. She walked towards the imposing front door and raised her ham-coloured hand to knock on the frosted (translucent, not frosted like a cake is frosted) glass. It made a noise like dropping a can of baked beans on a tiled floor.
‘Hello?’ she said. The building was as silent as refrigerated milk. She waited for a few seconds, then a few more, until she had been waiting for roughly the amount of time it takes to toast a muffin. There was no reply, much in the same way there is no reply if you phone a takeaway restaurant on a night when they’re not open. She tutted under her breath, making the same noise as a bubble popping on the surface of a thick tomato and basil sauce which has been brought to the boil.
I’m terribly sorry, you’ll have to excuse me.

10 comments:

  1. "...as silent as refrigerated milk". You just made the language richer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My favorite yet.
    And, now I am hungry.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ditto on the "silent as refrigerated milk." A very poetic turn of phrase...I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love these. Your pieces are so clever and they always make me laugh. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Most satisfying. I completely devoured this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is a truly delectable piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So does that imply that non-refrigerated milk is noisy?

    ReplyDelete
  8. @C12VT: Just give it long enough, and yeah, it will be.

    Try it sometime! You'll get yogurt or the miracle of life.

    ReplyDelete
  9. page suivante réplique gucci plus de conseils ici Hermes Dolabuy site Web de l'entreprise www. dolabuy.co

    ReplyDelete