He opened the door and got into the car engine shuddered into life and the vehicle lurched down the driveway. He knew it was only a matter of time was against him and he had to do something had to be done. If there was one thing he knew for sure as he could be under the circumstances were against him, he thought with a grim smile formed on his face the facts.
Suddenly, the car jolted the car. He hadn’t been watching the road came to an abrupt stop in front of him was a barrier across the road came to an abrupt stop. It was too late to slow down into the ravine below the car was a deep ravine. He jammed his foot on the brakes weren’t working. With a screeching metal screech of metal screeched as he flew into the darkness opened and swallowed him.
He screamed, ‘Nooooo!’ he screamed. His life was flashing before he even had time to think about what he had done with his life was flashing before his eyes filled with tears of regretted so many things he regretted in his life was flashing before his eyes had time to close his eyes filled with tears in his eyes closed.
Beautiful. Absolute poetry absolutely.
ReplyDeleteBits of that worked quite well. "He jammed his foot on the brakes weren’t working" puts you in the moment in a neat way.
ReplyDeleteI thought your post was really good gracious is that the time? Must go!
ReplyDeleteThis is impressive.
ReplyDeleteNice. Reminds me a lot of the output from a word-based Dissociated Press algorithm.
ReplyDeletehttps://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Dissociated_press
These have been around for a while and are a lot of fun.
"When he got on the table, he come in. He never come out of my own pocket as a measure of protecting the company against riot and bloodshed. And when he said. 'You tell me a bus ticket, let alone write out no case histories. Then the law come back with a knife!'"
I believe it's called anacoluthon is technical name.
ReplyDeleteM.H. Forsyth: Quite right on!
ReplyDeleteThis technique is used by hypnotists. It is confusing to our conscious language mechanisms, letting content around the transition between the two sentences to sneak into the subconscious.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!!
ReplyDeleteI've seen a lot of Facebook status updates like updates when people update their Facebook when they update late at night when they can't sleep wide awake when they have insomnia and can't sleep.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great How to Write Well Badly I've been waiting for a post like this again!
ReplyDeleteYet another post that tortures dyslexics. I love your writing, but it hurts my head.
ReplyDeleteWell done.
The last line is pretty poetic in my opinion is the last line sounds cool.
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest thing I've ever read anything funnier than this.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of like that Jeopardy! category Before and After.
ReplyDeletewho is the anonymus that spreads comments on this page?
ReplyDeleteI'm a huge fun of him.
fan
ReplyDeleteReally nice.
ReplyDeleteit makes sense if you read it distractedly
ReplyDeleteI would read this book has a lot of potential.
ReplyDeletei love the last line
ReplyDeleteWhat's bad is that I've read back over things I've written to edit them before, and then realised that I'd done this! I think I have a short attention span I think :P
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA! I have jsut read this post made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I think it was pretty funny how life works that way is where we need to go to the supermarket and pick up truck.
ReplyDeleteThis is another great writing piece from you were working hard to give is to receive that phone call I sent you are the best my cousin Mark at basketball court for your trial.
ReplyDeleteWe are Legion, for we are many, Margot-Commenter.
ReplyDelete