I shall simply tell you what I told the jury, gentle reader – I was indeed present when the shizzle went dizzle. However, myself and my homies were merely passing through the immediate vicinity at the time of the incident; if I recall correctly, we were engaged in nothing more than chilling, perhaps with a certain amount of supplementary illing, but certainly nothing close to the magnitude of the offences alleged.
In addition to this, I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight regarding one matter – specifically, that I be the baddest pimp you ever seen and, were you to show disrespect to either myself or my close friends, I feel I should warn you that I would make a concerted effort to smoke your bitch ass.
Every blog needs a weak article, and this one is your's.
ReplyDeleteLove the rest though, keep it up.
So bad it's almost good..love it.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of Eliza Doolittle's first public appearance at the races in My Fair Lady in which she had a mixture of highbrow English and gutter talk.
ReplyDeleteThis Penny Arcade strip mixes legal and gamer contexts very nicely. And yet, when today's gamers have gray hair, one can almost imagine ...
ReplyDeleteStanding: In Pygmalion, it's all gutter talk, just in a cut-glass RP accent. (Well, after her first remark about the weather: "The shallow depression in the west of these islands is likely to move slowly in an easterly direction. There are no indications of any great change in the barometrical situation.") A few bits: "done the old woman in", "She come through diphtheria right enough", "them as pinched it", leading up to her final "Walk! Not bloody likely. [Sensation] I am going in a taxi", which indeed did cause a sensation in its 1914 West End premiere (on Broadway, of course, nothing happened).
Love the shizzle going dizzle.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what Anonymous up there is talking about,t his is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteHell YES. This one is the best ever!
ReplyDeletedamn it anonymous, quit contradicting myself!
ReplyDeleteI think this could work in a Clockwork Orangey dystopia setting.
ReplyDeleteActually, I like this. It works for me.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous needs reminding that possessive pronouns don't need possessive apostrophes.
ReplyDeleteI actually find this one hilarious in a good way. The rest just make me want to weep.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! I caught your error! One person can't make a concerted effort. Other than that, it's perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else hear this read out by Stephen Fry in their heads? Nope? Just me then...
ReplyDeletePure genius again, by the way.
Uh oh, Levi. You are right but I hear people use concerted that way all the time - to mean 'specifically concentrated', essentially.
ReplyDeleteWhat word should we, I mean THEY, be using?
Also, the first anon is crazy. This was amazing and I threw my head back and laughed at that first sentence.
I just went back and reread the first line out loud with an imatation of Stephen Fry's voice. It kind of works lol
ReplyDeleteI actually adore this.
ReplyDeleteHow many anonymous do we have here?
ReplyDeleteOr would that be 'anonymis"?
ReplyDeleteThis blog is wonderful, Joel Stickley... please keep it up!
I heard it in Stephen Fry's voice too. It's very "a bit of Fry and Laurie", don't you think?
ReplyDeleteOMG! You are positively superb. I, like, totally just laughed so intensely, I sobbed! This post was off the hizzle-fo-shizzle. Alas, I must resumeith laboringith at my schooling-oriented tasks. See y'all l8r, dudes, peace out!
ReplyDeleteI had to stop and catch my breath after the very first sentence. Currently wiping tears of hlarity from my eyes.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, while I read this, it sounded like some kind of rap in my head.
ReplyDeleteHilarious article. ^_^