With a manly flick of his muscular wrist, Captain Dash Gallant engaged the space drive and accelerated into the darkness of the Cloud Nebula. His destination was Mysterion IV, the uncharted planet which, as space-legend had it, was home to the quasi-mythical race of psychic aliens known as the Klar’Voyates.
Suddenly, his heroic concentration was shattered by the wailing of the DangerAlarm-9000. He glared masculinely at the scan-screen and space-cursed under his breath at what he saw – a Mhal-Evol’Unt warship off the starside bow. Flicking open the communication channels, he manfully barked an order to his inept yet adorable robot sidekick Fumblebot.
‘Prepare all weapons for an epic battle,’ he gruffly intoned. ‘And fire up the Annihilatatron-X.’ He narrowed his steel-blue eyes at the blackness of space. ‘You never cease to amaze me, galaxy,’ he whispered heterosexually.
I thought 'glared masculinely' was the best thing ever--until I read 'whispered heterosexually.'
ReplyDeleteLove your use of space, lol
ReplyDeleteDid you steal that passage from my WIP? :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is actually more about gender than genre.
ReplyDeleteunchartered = uncharted?
ReplyDeleteI believe "'You neve cease to amaze me, galaxy,' he whispered heterosexually" might just be the best thing ever.
ReplyDeleteyou had me at space-cursed :)
ReplyDelete"unchartered = uncharted?"
ReplyDeleteYup. Thank you. Changed. Or should I say "changered?"
If nothing else, this blog provides me with an amazing resource for proofreading. The finest editorial minds of our generation, like moths to a flame.
I prefer 'unchartered'. It has a delightful whiff of illicitness.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to whisper something heterosexually tomorrow, I swear it.
ReplyDeleteI **love** Fumblebot.
ReplyDelete"‘You never cease to amaze me, galaxy,’ he whispered heterosexually." LOL! I'm still laughing my crazy inhaling laugh that I do when I'm particularly amused. I should go up to one of my friends and ask him to whisper something heterosexually.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing at "whispered heterosexually"! I am actually tearing up. I don't know why!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be whispering heterosexually WAY more often after this.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing more homoerotic. Nothing.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm months late after some of these comments, but I seriously cannot stop laughing at "Whispered heterosexually." I think that may be the most hilarious thing I've ever read. I just love this post. Oh wow, highly entertaining.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I get the impression that this guy's manly. It's so subtle, do you guys notice it?
ReplyDelete