Choose a narrator who is peripheral to the story


It all began in the summer of 2003. At least, I think it did – I was on holiday at the time, but when I got back, I heard that Lisa and Penny had fallen out. Apparently, they’d had some kind of big bust-up over something, though I’m not sure what. Let me set the scene for you. Lisa is in her late thirties and works as an administrator for a respected legal firm. Or maybe it’s local government. I’m not really sure – she doesn’t talk about work much. I haven’t seen her in a few months. Penny, on the other hand, is an enigma. By which I mean I haven’t met Penny.
Anyway, I’m not entirely clear what the issue was between them, but it came to a head in either a coffee shop or the public library. They’d either just met a few days before or known each other for years and they were really close friends, or possibly just acquaintances. But then this thing happened, which was either an argument over money or a disagreement about politics, and that led to a series of events which I’m not entirely clear on, but I think they ended up being closer friends as a result. Or maybe they never spoke again. I should ask Rachel. I kind of know Lisa through Rachel. Anyway, crazy story. Just goes to show.

13 comments:

  1. hahahaha! Oh wow...I loved that! Perfect way to start the day :)

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  2. The trouble with this narrator is not that he's peripheral, but that he doesn't know the story. Lots of first-person narrators are in some sense peripheral, especially when the main action is tragic: how would Hamlet look, for example, as a story? It could be told by Horatio in first person, or using him as a third-person limited viewpoint character. (Or, of course, back to the involved narrator.)

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  3. Actually, I'd turn that page when I got to the end of it. I would expect him/her/it to begin finding some things out, though, and to begin telling me about them. As John Cowan said, it's not the peripheralness, it's the cluelessness.

    But first pages are for asking questions, not for answering them, and this one certainly asks a lot of them.

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  4. This is quite good! Stop writing well properly.

    Oh but it did make me laugh.

    :-)

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  5. It's like a "friend of a friend's third cousin" telling a story. I love it.

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  6. "Penny, on the other hand, is an enigma. By which I mean I haven’t met Penny."

    Ok, that was awesome

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  7. kind of reminds me of a Woody Allen narrative.

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  8. Don't want to cavil, but The Pursuit of Love gets away with it pretty well, especially because it allows the narrator to give the basic facts convincingly, so you get away from that opening: "I looked in the mirror and a five-foot ginger-haired bearded lady looked back at me. Have I really got away from the circus and made my name as an Egyptologist and kick boxer? I asked myself."

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  9. The best yet! (Though it's hard to choose...)

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  10. Actually, I'm torn between this one and "Always Use a Thesaurus." Keep up the great work!

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  11. That's how I always felt about The Great Gatsby! I'd really have loved to see the story through Jay Gatsby's own eyes. Though the ending would've had to be a little different!

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  12. Three words:

    The Big Lebowski.

    (Also, most any western movie.)

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