Write in impenetrable dialect


Wha’ an’ ha’ summit oder t’ nessle, blothen. An’ thar fudur hibitza an’took! Fla booter ’eth snine? Naggle ta, po’ o’ lo’ sho’. An tho’? An tho’ fladabble.
‘Gisae tha’ fun’dut?’ hir giffled.
‘Asai ha’ tooter!’ Ai tankled.
Haba greathen thei’ pulten, asa lanwag ba’ cracket an’ waggle. Wha’ tae boleg ah video recorder fae t’ sanner an’ video recorder ben.
‘Wha’ tae boleg ah video recorder?’ hettled ai, gravenish.
‘Gisae ha’ tooter,’ cam spalber eth.

16 comments:

  1. You not enjoying 'Trainspotting' then?

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  2. "Trainspotting"?! Pshaw. Wake me up when you've tried Finnegans Wake: the novel whose dialect is so strange that even its title looks like a case of poor editing.

    I honestly believe Joyce wrote Finnegans Wake as a prank for English majors. As Wikipedia helpfully notes, "Despite these obstacles, readers and commentators have reached a broad consensus about the book's central cast of characters and, to a lesser degree, its plot."

    Do you really need to know more?

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  3. I feel like I just played a game of "Mad Gab 2: Satan's Favorites".

    Can I request a translation?

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  4. Is this the former low-hills southeast Northern Orkhork dialect spoken by Quakers who fled to an isolated region of the Kalahari to avoid oppression? Or is it the up-stream southeast Northern Orkhork dialect? I can't tell.

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  5. Trying to read Hagrid's dialogue from Harry Potter to my son was like this. Not quite as bad - I usually knew what he was saying, but trying to say it in his dialect and still have my 8yo understand took some effort.

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  6. That's a bit Clockwork Orange. It's weird. It has no instant appeal, but you can persevere with it.

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  7. Actually, Joyce said he wrote FW for the ideal reader with ideal insomnia.

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  8. Translation please?

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  9. Am I the only reader who recognises this as a translation of Sonnet 130?

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  10. That famous sonnet about the video recorder, you mean?

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  11. I'm pretty sure cracket an' waggle is something rude!

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  12. Oh goodness. I'm wiping away tears. Hilarious!

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  13. Huckleberry Finn much????

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  14. Most of this was gibberish, but the mental images brought to mind by "'Asai ha’ tooter!’ Ai tankled" are utterly hilarious.

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  15. I can't help but think of Wiseau reading this.
    youwa lion i nefah heath yoo! YOU AHWE TEAWIN ME APAHT LYSA!

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