Focus on one sense to the exclusion of the others


Before he even opened his eyes, Daniel could smell the metallic, oily scent of the machine guns pointing at him.
‘The prisoner is awake!’ shouted the nearest of the men. His breath smelled like onions and raw meat. Daniel blinked.
‘Where...’ he said, but before he could finish his question, a leather boot which stank of petrol hit the side of his head. He fell to the ground, which smelled of mud and, again, petrol.
‘Silence!’ screamed the guard, the tangy, faintly sweet odour of his sweat wafting into Daniel’s nostrils. Daniel was sure that, had any dogs been nearby, they could have smelled his fear. The whole situation reeked of danger. Then, on the wind, came the salty scent of the ocean and, with it, a faint whiff of hope.
‘Smell you later!’ shouted Daniel, making a run for the jet-ski.

10 comments:

  1. And then call it "Perfume: the story of a murderer"

    :-)

    x

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  2. You got every sense except taste in there!

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  3. I think if I encountered this paragraph in the wild, I would assume the protag couldn't see.

    Very amusing as usual!

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  4. I smell more kudos for the story on the wind but first let me add my own.

    Kudos.

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  5. Daniel is blind.

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  6. I just laughed until I cried. The Simpsons reference did me in.

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  7. Oh ya! love it, go with this for a full novel...make the reader craazy!

    You got a funny blog here, good work.

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  8. The story was perfumed with success. The fragrant description... (ok, I can't do this)

    Every sense but the common variety...

    Smell ya later!
    lol :)

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  9. Forshadowing: Daves a werewolf!

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