Fighting for breath, Britney Bin Laden sprinted away from the collapsing building with all the speed of a get rich quick scheme or celebrity nipple slip. A massive explosion tore seductively through the virgin wall behind her, a wall which was eighteen years old and ready for fun.
Yikes, thought Britney, this is certainly exclusive breaking news which might well affect current stock prices. Just then, a truck carrying cheap pharmaceutical goods veered off the road, narrowly missing her. That could have killed me, thought Britney, her life flashing before her eyes like a free bootleg movie download. There are so many things I regret. I wish I had won top prizes at an online Euro-Casino, or talked to more singles in my area.
‘Britney!’ someone shouted. She squinted through the smoke. It was her friend and lover, Jesus Michael Jackson-Obama-Sextape. ‘Are you okay?’ he said, offering her coupon codes for genuine software downloads.
You should have named it "14 Ways To Improve..." etc instead.
ReplyDeleteBy the way I wouldn't be surprised if Googlebot believes this post to be spam and moves you to page 639.
Britney Bin Laden.
ReplyDeleteNow why didn't I think of that?
:-)
Yes it's all in a name!
ReplyDeleteone of my new favorites :)
ReplyDelete"Jesus Michael Jackson-Obama-Sextape" - wtf ?
ReplyDeleteI vaguely recall someone doing this -- they took the top 100 (or something) search terms and made a story out of it. I tried looking for it but of course it's completely un-Google-able. :-(
ReplyDeleteI think we may have a new genre: Search term fiction! I wonder if that site is taken
ReplyDeleteApplies mostly to online writing... blogs for example. ;)
ReplyDeleteone of the best for a while. da iawn, bach.
ReplyDeleteVery funny.
ReplyDeleteSearch term fiction. I feel a disturbing new trend coming on...
ReplyDeleteFor a tired mum of three who spends most of her day pretending to laugh at fart jokes, your posts are like a good bottle of wine, a hand-made box of chocolates and a gloriously sexy French stranger looking for directions all rolled into one.
ReplyDeleteI had tears in my eyes reading this. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI think I've gotten spam that looks like this.
ReplyDelete