The door was answered by a woman wearing a square-necked smock dress with a ruched hem. It was light brown with cream details and a subtle floral pattern; the stitching, although perhaps not as durable as it could be, was of a good standard and the general impression was of a high-quality garment, albeit one with a limited lifespan. Her shoes were blunt-toed black leather low-heel pumps, stylish yet comfortable and projecting an air of casual professionalism. Her cardigan was a loose-knit off-white woollen number, available from all good retailers.
‘Is this 57 The Birches?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she said. ‘That’s next door.’
‘Oh, sorry,’ I said. I walked up the drive and then down the garden path of the house next door. I rang the bell. After a few seconds, the door was answered by a man in an argyle sweater with grey and blue patterning, the collar of his shirt protruding from the neck...
Have you been reading Look magazine? Argyle is so retro, floral pattern is so now and ruched hem is so yesterday.
ReplyDelete:-)
"Terrific stuff every time. Thanks," commented the man in the pink-and-white striped shirt with a grandad collar, distressed jeans and blahblahblah...
ReplyDeleteI'm totally thinking about fanfics (and My Immortal) now.
ReplyDeleteD8
Oh God, that was one of the most annoying things in American Psycho - endless descriptions of everyone's clothing and accessories!
ReplyDeleteI am delighted to discover I am not alone in my hatred of clothing-centred characterization.
Robert Jordan, I'm looking at you...
ReplyDeleteLOL! I think I've read some romance novels like that.
ReplyDeleteYou ever read the Tale of Genji?
ReplyDeleteThis is nearly as annoying as some of your previous endeavors.
ReplyDeleteI like descriptions of clothes. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure you have access to my drafts folder :/
ReplyDeleteIt's like you cut-and-pasted straight from a Wheel of Time novel... Fascinating... ^_^
ReplyDeleteDamnit! My previous comment was supposed to have read: This ISN'T as annoying as your recent posts i.e. this example is actually tolerable.
ReplyDeleteI've not cringed so happily in a long while...
ReplyDeleteBlack shoes with a cream and brown dress?? Is she the killer?
ReplyDelete@ Ceridwen:
ReplyDeleteThe way Bateman judges everyone he meets on their clothes is a key part of his character. I liked it.
Damn, I'm not the first one to make a Wheel of Time reference. Though dear lord, that dress description would be right at home there.
ReplyDeleteI think "The Dressmaker" by Rosalie Ham does that on occassion. Whoever had the bright idea to make Australian students read that must've been high, I swear.
ReplyDeleteI almost did something like this myself. I wrote an entire paragraph describing the dress my character was wearing. Then I realized exactly how boring it would be for someone to read it. I kept the description in my notes, but I removed the paragraph from the story. In the end, all that wound up being said about the dress was that it was green and silky.
ReplyDelete