KITCHEN. TABLE & TWO CHAIRS. ON THE TABLE ARE A SELECTION OF HERBS & SPICES – MARJORAM, THYME, CORIANDER, SAGE, BASIL – AND A METAL FORK, ONE PRONG OF WHICH IS SLIGHTLY BENT. ENTER KALI.
KALI: Hello?
SHE LOOKS AROUND, BUT THE KITCHEN IS EMPTY. SHE PICKS UP THE JAR OF THYME, THE LABEL OF WHICH IS TOO SMALL FOR THE AUDIENCE TO READ.
KALI: I guess I ran out of this and everyone left. (LAUGHS)
SHE PULLS HER PHONE OUT OF HER POCKET AND SILENTLY READS A TEXT MESSAGE – “BORED OF WAITING, SO LEFT. SUZ XX.” SHE TYPES A REPLY, AGAIN WITHOUT SPEAKING – “OK SEE YOU THERE HOPEFULLY LOL X.”
KALI: Right.
SHE LEAVES. MOMENTS LATER, A MOTE OF DUST FLOATS ACROSS THE STAGE AND SETTLES ON THE JAR OF BASIL, INDICATING TO THE AUDIENCE THAT KALI’S HUSBAND BASIL HAS DIED.
As a script reader, I think I love you.
ReplyDeleteAs an amateur trying to write screenplays, I think I love you too. You got a smile out of me with this. Very clever.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the parsley, sage, and rosemary. But you'll still be a true love of mine.
ReplyDeleteSee also Try to convey more in stage directions than is physically possible.
Oooh there be a Stickley love fest going on here!
ReplyDeleteMe - I'll think I'm still waiting for Godot.
:-)
Statement from Numington-Putsch Literary Agency
ReplyDeleteAfter repeated attempts to contact Mr. Stockley directly have failed to effect any change in the incessant mockery of our agency and it’s staff, Numington-Putsch wishes to make the following statement available to the public. (link)
Can I act on your stage?
ReplyDeleteWow. That Numington-Putsch site may be the strangest, funniest, most inexplicable thing that someone I've never met has done for me. "Dashaun Galaunt"? Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteFor the benefit of fellow archive trawlers, Niles' URL seems to have changed to http://numingtonputsch.wordpress.com/ .
ReplyDelete