Mismatch dialogue and action


‘You put all our lives in danger and for what?’ yelled Kali, tying her shoelaces. Claus stopped and looked at her.
‘Me? You think this is my fault? You’re the one who told them where we were. You might as well have waved a big target over our heads,’ he shouted, running his hand through his hair and grinning.
‘Guys, calm down,’ said Louis, clenching his fists and turning red in the face. ‘It’s no one’s fault. We’ve just got to work as a team.’ Kali wheeled round to face him.
‘Claus, can you tell Louis to shut his face before I shut it for him?’ she hissed, finishing her sudoku puzzle.

8 comments:

  1. I always knew doing a sudoku puzzle was bad for your health.:-)

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  2. Bravo! Best one for a while!

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  3. Ha! I love this!

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  4. "Excellent job!" she grimaced, while picking her toenails and slapping the cat.

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  5. Reminds me of one of my favorite bits of dialog:

    "Are you lost daddy" I asked tenderly.
    "Shut up" he explained.
    - The Young Immigrants, Ring Lardner (1920)

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  6. It's my first visit here, and, after reading four posts, I already get the feeling that the reading's bound to be addictive.

    I burst out laughing when I got to Louis "turning red in the face." But what really did me in is the "hissed... sudoku" bit; that nearly killed me. Nah, just left me with a jaw that hurt from laughing. Reminds me of Terry Pratchett. Cheers.

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  7. "I've seen this in books all the time!" He said, trying to be clever. "This site is so addicting"

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