Find the bone mote


As he sat discomfortably on the chase lounge, Dan realised he was the centre of attraction. Something was a rye. He had a feeling that in this particular click, he was to be the scrapegoat. Had it been wreckless to come into this den of thiefs? If the worse came to the worse and the yolk of responsibility rested on his shoulders, wherefore would he turn for assistants?
When he had set out on this long sojourn, he’d known it would be risqué, but no one had appraised him of just how risqué, or even eluded to it. Even if they had, he would of been suspect of them having an anterior motif. But that was a mute point now. These viscous criminals would test his medal irregardless of weather he wanted them too – he just had to keep his moral up in the mean times.

29 comments:

  1. Whoa. That was painful (or paneful) to read.

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  2. agreed irregardlessly it was good lol!

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  3. As purr usual, I am in oar of your skills.

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  4. Now that was funny!! Thanks for the laugh!

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  5. My eye started twitching halfway through. Oh the horror.

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  6. Huh? Where's the joke?

    Oh, I get it. You misspelled “center” as "centre". ;)

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  7. Spellchecker's been at it again!
    :-)

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  8. 'She could smell his colon as soon as she entered the room' is my all time favourite foe pa.

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  9. Oh ouch. It reminds me of my fan fiction reading days, the less skilled 'authors' did this constantly.

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  10. An tip owed IanFriday, July 09, 2010

    Lolls.

    Seriously, lolling about, thinking about the HR newsletter I read recently which said that the employment market in WA was strong, despite a 'pawl' being cast over it by the proposed mining tax.

    I'm impressed that someone in HR knew the word 'pawl,' and smitten by 'anterior motives' (I think I have those) and 'viscous criminals' - generally slippery, those chaps.

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  11. "An tip owed Ian" – Heh. Just got that.

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  12. Funniest post in a while! "Scrapegoat" is absolute genius.

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  13. Agreed, MarcT. Joel's amazing at coming up with so many varieties of badly-well written material; it has to be hard to keep up the momentum after you've written something as genius as the "skip blithely among tenses" post, though.

    I think the beauty of this one is how tragically common all these mistakes are. Reading it was like reading a year's worth of an apartment manager's monthly newsletters concentrated into one paragraph.

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  14. Viscous criminals...

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  15. I'd have gone for "anterior motif".

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  16. Dammit. Anterior motifs would have been brilliant. Why didn't I spot that? Do you think any one will notice if I change it now? [whistles nonchalantly] There we go.

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  17. Good to see our former President keeping himself busy with fiction writing...

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  18. This reads like some students' papers I've read. My personal favorite is "ascetic" instead of "aesthetic" when talking about interior design.

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  19. I'm glad that I found your bulge, it's really good.

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  20. That's "viscous crinimals," I think?

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  21. *Wince*. (Or should I say winch?). Reminds me of all those job ads that ask for 'a flare for [insert relevant task]'

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  22. A rouge charactre, that Dan.

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  23. U arr sew fun knee!
    Aye shod bee do ink hum work, sew goodbuy fur know. :)

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  24. That was amating peace! I weight with baited breasts for your feature woks!

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  25. awefully awsome

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  26. Out of all these, "would of" hurt the most. "Risque" had to be the funniest, though.
    It's sad how all my AP English classmates have papers that look like this. I say again: AP ENGLISH.

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