As he sat discomfortably on the chase lounge, Dan realised he was the centre of attraction. Something was a rye. He had a feeling that in this particular click, he was to be the scrapegoat. Had it been wreckless to come into this den of thiefs? If the worse came to the worse and the yolk of responsibility rested on his shoulders, wherefore would he turn for assistants?
When he had set out on this long sojourn, he’d known it would be risqué, but no one had appraised him of just how risqué, or even eluded to it. Even if they had, he would of been suspect of them having an anterior motif. But that was a mute point now. These viscous criminals would test his medal irregardless of weather he wanted them too – he just had to keep his moral up in the mean times.
Whoa. That was painful (or paneful) to read.
ReplyDeleteagreed irregardlessly it was good lol!
ReplyDeleteOuch. That hertz.
ReplyDeleteAs purr usual, I am in oar of your skills.
ReplyDeleteNow that was funny!! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeletebrillant!
ReplyDeleteMy eye started twitching halfway through. Oh the horror.
ReplyDeleteHuh? Where's the joke?
ReplyDeleteOh, I get it. You misspelled “center” as "centre". ;)
Spellchecker's been at it again!
ReplyDelete:-)
'She could smell his colon as soon as she entered the room' is my all time favourite foe pa.
ReplyDeleteOh ouch. It reminds me of my fan fiction reading days, the less skilled 'authors' did this constantly.
ReplyDeleteLolls.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, lolling about, thinking about the HR newsletter I read recently which said that the employment market in WA was strong, despite a 'pawl' being cast over it by the proposed mining tax.
I'm impressed that someone in HR knew the word 'pawl,' and smitten by 'anterior motives' (I think I have those) and 'viscous criminals' - generally slippery, those chaps.
oh, it's a blog entry.
ReplyDelete"An tip owed Ian" – Heh. Just got that.
ReplyDeleteFunniest post in a while! "Scrapegoat" is absolute genius.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, MarcT. Joel's amazing at coming up with so many varieties of badly-well written material; it has to be hard to keep up the momentum after you've written something as genius as the "skip blithely among tenses" post, though.
ReplyDeleteI think the beauty of this one is how tragically common all these mistakes are. Reading it was like reading a year's worth of an apartment manager's monthly newsletters concentrated into one paragraph.
Viscous criminals...
ReplyDeleteI'd have gone for "anterior motif".
ReplyDeleteDammit. Anterior motifs would have been brilliant. Why didn't I spot that? Do you think any one will notice if I change it now? [whistles nonchalantly] There we go.
ReplyDeleteGood to see our former President keeping himself busy with fiction writing...
ReplyDeleteThis reads like some students' papers I've read. My personal favorite is "ascetic" instead of "aesthetic" when talking about interior design.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that I found your bulge, it's really good.
ReplyDeleteThat's "viscous crinimals," I think?
ReplyDelete*Wince*. (Or should I say winch?). Reminds me of all those job ads that ask for 'a flare for [insert relevant task]'
ReplyDeleteA rouge charactre, that Dan.
ReplyDeleteU arr sew fun knee!
ReplyDeleteAye shod bee do ink hum work, sew goodbuy fur know. :)
That was amating peace! I weight with baited breasts for your feature woks!
ReplyDeleteawefully awsome
ReplyDeleteOut of all these, "would of" hurt the most. "Risque" had to be the funniest, though.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad how all my AP English classmates have papers that look like this. I say again: AP ENGLISH.
Could have been worse. There isn't a "per say" and no one "takes the reigns." (This reminds me of a toy rubber band gun I bought recently. The directions refer to the gun's "site. TWICE.)
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ReplyDelete