Use onomatopoeia to make your writing pop


Susie knocked – thunk thunk thunk – on the door. After a few moments it opened with a creeeaakk...
‘Susie Thirskiss, I assume? Salutations,’ hissed a lisping voice.
‘Uh... I... Uh...’ stu-uttered Susie. From inside the house, she could hear a metallic clanking clatter. ‘I don’t know if–’ CLUNK ‘–I have the right–’ CLUNK ‘–address,’ she said.
The man behind the door coughed out a low, rasping laugh – kakh kakh kakh – and grinned. He waved a hand in front of him – swooosh!
‘This address,’ he said, with a twinkle in his eye (blingadingading), ‘is always the right address.’
Susie’s heart had been beating fast – badabump badabump – but now it sank – psheeeeeeew – as she realised – ding! – the horrible truth – RAAAAAAGH!

14 comments:

  1. I'm ending all my sentances with RAAAAAGH! from now on. RAAAAAAAGH!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is the first time I've seen someone use 'stu-uttered' and I think it would be great for a kids book. RAAAAAAAGH!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The roar of the vuvuzelas was deafening "BBBBBZZZZZUUUUHHHHH.....BBBBBZZZZZUUUUHHHHH.....BBBBBZZZZZUUUUHHHHH.....BBBBBZZZZZUUUUHHHHH....."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Can a lisping voice hiss? Would it not hith instead?

    ReplyDelete
  5. My favorite is the twinkle in his eye (blingadingading). I might have to make that noise any time someone overuses that phrase.

    ReplyDelete
  6. POW! KER-SPLAT! BAM! BOFF!

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. UGH! 7H@7 n00b g07 p0wN3d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh ouch. I think my eyeballs just melted. But I will have to say 'Swoosh!' when I wave my hand. Too much fun!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Weirdly enough, this is entirely normal in Japanese.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I ah ha ha ha'd at this, especially "swoosh" "(blingadingading)" "ding!" and "RAAAAAAAGH!"

    ReplyDelete
  11. swoosh. :-)
    RAAAAAAGH

    ReplyDelete
  12. (blingadingading) is the sound my eyes always make when they tinkle...

    ReplyDelete
  13. This reminds me of Victor Borge

    ReplyDelete