‘So,’ she said, peering suspiciously inside the bag. ‘This is the merchandise we talked about?’
The salesman nodded. ‘That’s right,’ he said. ‘It’s all there. Every last bit.’
‘And if I take it?’ she asked. ‘What then?’
He shrugged. ‘Then it’s yours,’ he said. ‘What happens after that is up to you.’ She scanned his face for clues, but saw nothing. She hesitated. What should she do? There was no guarantee that what she thought was in the bag was actually what was in the bag. BUT WAS THAT A CHANCE SHE COULD TAKE? So much rested on this. So much.
‘And you’ll be discreet?’ she said. He smiled.
‘I AM THE SOUL OF DISCRETION,’ he whispered.
at least you didn't use webdings font
ReplyDelete... or the marquee tag
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Leaves
ReplyDeleteIt's like reading Mark Trail!
ReplyDeleteI AM THE SOUL OF DISCRETION, he whispered
ReplyDeleteThat'd be interesting as a piece of wall art. For reading, not so much.
ReplyDeleteItalics just called and said they're breaking up with you.
ReplyDeleteEvery once in a while I'll want to write an email with something in particular catching the reader's eye, so I'll write it in all-caps. Then when I reread it before sending, I feel guilty because it looks like I'm shouting. So then I'll replace it with the bolt/italics/underline trifecta. Now I feel guilty for that too!
ReplyDeleteOh, and "he whispered" was pure genius, too!
ReplyDeleteMy eyes are bleeding now.
ReplyDelete@jdarr-
ReplyDeleteYou could add "(ny)" after all-caps parts of your message, to let the recipient know you're "not yelling". It seems to work for the 12-year-old girls on my company's message board!
(took me forever to figure it out, though - "what does New York have to do with anything?")
I thought "I am the soul of discretion" was kinda good. I might use it one of these days. :)
ReplyDeleteHehehehehe!
ReplyDeleteAaaw, that's pretty ... awful.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying to buy a car on craigslist and this seems to be the established format for postings. I have ignored potentially good deals because I find the formatting abhorrent. So, you changed the timing belt recently, but why are you yelling at me?
ReplyDelete@diagnull- Mark Trail. Wow, just wow.
I'm dyslexic. I nearly threw up trying to read that. Now I'm going to bed.
ReplyDeleteIn other words: brilliant post.
What? It's pomo. :P
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