With thanks to Daniel M
She watched as Alfonzo’s hands snaked up the bearded interloper’s back, caressing her like a seahorse caresses his young after carrying them for their two-to-four-week gestation period, because it’s male seahorses that get pregnant, not female ones.
She choked back tears as he stroked the harlot’s long, luxurious beard. How she wished that was her beard he was stroking. Of course, she did not have a beard, being a professor of theology rather than a circus performer. But he could stroke her other body hair, couldn’t he? Her sensibly bobbed brown locks, her barely visible downy upper-lip hair, the wispy tufts under her arms and finally – she barely dared imagine – her delicate and mysterious hoo-ha. Just thinking the word gave her a thrill. It had an earthy sensuality to it, a deep and primal power that spoke to the very fabric of her nature. Hoo-ha. She trembled silently. Hoo-ha.
This is easily in my Top 5. The seahorse thing was great. Hoo-ha.
ReplyDeleteWhen my wife asked her sister why she always put her towels in the laundry after only one use, she replied, "I'm not gonna dry my face with what I used to dry my noo-noo!"
ReplyDeleteReally.
Hoo-ha is funny business.
ReplyDeleteThis so perfectly captures the essence of the one romance novel I read on a dare. In fact, I'm going to inflict this Romance Week series on the librarian who forced me to read that romance novel.
ReplyDeleteAre they casting Al Pacino to the screen version of this? Hoo-Ha!
ReplyDeleteAh, the mysterious and delicate hoo-ha.
ReplyDeleteI glimpsed one in the wild once, many years ago.
What a majestic creature.
This is basically just anime fanfiction on a caffeine high...
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. And arousing.
ReplyDeleteI think euphemisms are compulsory in romance writing.
ReplyDeleteSurely she could have a beard and be a theology professor? There's plenty of male professors with beards - blatant discrimination.
The google ads are confused; there are some for hair removal, and some for dealing with hair loss.