Fail to notice are missing during editing


As the of battle died down and twilight fell over the fields of Paldyggen, Lothar stood atop the hill and watched.
‘So many have died here today,’ he to his squire. ‘Loyal to the last, every of them.’
‘Sir,’ muttered young man. Lothar shifted his weight and leaned on the pommel his sword. He knew what meant – one day soon, he would king. There would be more battles like this, but none as bloody or as . The path was clear now, knew. He took a breath and raised his so that all men might hear.
‘We emerge from victorious!’ he bellowed. A ragged cheer came from the below. ‘With the blood of our fallen friends still upon us,’ continued, ‘with the smell our enemies’ fear in nostrils, with swords unsheathed and , we ride!’ Another cheer rang the valley. ‘We ride to Crown Point and to !’

10 comments:

  1. Crown Point - that's between Streatham and Norbury isn't it? Perhaps they were riding to B&Q.

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  2. I actually didn't notice anything wrong until "We emerge from victorious!" On the other hand, this is first thing in the morning for me.

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  3. This is and well worth (continued on p)

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  4. Totally derived from the The Lord of the Rings! (substitute Theoden for Lothar and stitch a few scenes together...et voila)

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  5. As someone who sees manuscripts very early on in the publishing process, I run into this a lot. Frightening.

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  6. That was a very emotive piece. I simply don't understand all the cheeky comments.

    With your permission I would like to use "with the smell of our enemies fear in nostrils" in a poem that I am currently writing about corporate America. Yes, finding something to rhyme with nostrils isn't easy, but if memory serves there is a haunting passage in American Psycho that should provide the required inspiration.

    Best wishes,

    CY

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  7. I think it has to be said... you accidentally all your words.

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  8. I don't get it... why are half the words missing. It was a good story :(

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