Reinvent clichés

(With thanks to Felix Bloomfield)
‘At the conclusion of the day,’ I said, ‘you have to follow your cardiovascular muscle.’
‘It’s simple for you to declare that,’ she said. ‘I wish you could walk a kilometre in my footwear. Then the boot would be on the left foot if it started on the right or vice-versa.’
I smiled. ‘You’re as stubborn as the offspring of a horse and a donkey,’ I said. ‘Alright, have your way as the way we’re doing things.’ At this stage, I thought, it was best to just live and also let her live in her chosen manner. Arguing with her was tantamount to specifically requesting trouble and I didn’t have the digestive system necessary for it. After all, hell itself doesn’t have the same level of anger as a woman who’s been badly treated. Women, I thought to myself – can’t live with them, can’t contrive a situation where they aren’t a necessary part of your existence.

14 comments:

  1. The underlying horizontal is, you have the ability to flex the larynx in order to articulate the logos, but are your ambulatory skills up to the task of perambulating?

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  2. That was just pure the quality of being something that is awe inspiring

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  3. I'm still chortling audibly in a not-soft voice.

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  4. This has more gall and spirit than a fingered mother-bat.

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  5. Low temperature stuff man!

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  6. uppermost V-shaped indentation

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  7. Most amusing. You removed my foot attire in a forceful manner.

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  8. Can't think of anything witty, you just made me laugh out loud, excellent stuff
    thanks
    martine

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  9. This reminds me so much of Barnum from Fable II. "The world is your bivalve mollusk!"

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  10. the last line made me laugh. Love it.

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  11. The next time I have a friend struggling with a hard decision, I'm going to tell him/her to "follow your cardiovascular muscle."

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  12. Undomesticated equines lack the ability to prevent me from reading this a second time. Though it's much funnier to move towards this situation as a reader than it would theoretically be as a person standing opposite, separated by a large flat piece of furniture with legs.

    (I suppose 'approaching it from the other side of the table' is also a lightly - but not thoroughly - mixed metaphor.)

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  13. The various highlighted points and ideas given and have been mentioned in detail are quite considerable and up to the level of that blog, I will visit that platform again in future. Also See essay papers for best Papers.

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