Include unnecessary linguistic redundancies of language


Kevin entered his PIN number into the ATM machine at a rapid rate of speed. He had a preplanned date arrangement with a female woman and didn’t want to be delayed by lateness. If he compared and contrasted Olivia with previous girlfriends he’d dated before, she was universally superior and better in every way.
‘Hurry quickly,’ he whispered under his breath, his hand advancing forward towards the cash slot where money would come out. He glanced at the LCD display, which was showing an advertising commercial. ‘I’m in too much of a rush to have time for this,’ he muttered. ‘You can keep your added bonus free gift.’
Finally at last, his cash money emerged into view and he grabbed it with his hand. Irregardless of this delay, the end result of his date arrangement would be a new beginning at this moment in time. Little did he know or realise, but his goals and objectives were about to be completely and utterly met in a way and manner it was impossible to over-exaggerate.

37 comments:

  1. Nice! I'm pretty sure I read a published book once that did actually read like that...

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  2. How did you get hold of bits of the new Dan Brown novel before anyone else?

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  3. I think some of those are a stretch, but I get your point. PIN number grates at me most I think. "PIN" is simple, clear, concise.

    And London Midland use PIN to refer to a string of letters, that really did confuse me when they asked for a PIN as I didn't have one.

    A more eloquent example I saw of this was a comic showing a door, and on the door it said: "The department of redundancy department."

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  4. Now I simply have to use "delayed by lateness" as an excuse the next time I'm late for anything (happens rarely, I'm usually half an hour early...)! :D

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  5. I’m sure I’ve heard that in an announcement at a train station.

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  6. A "preplanned date arrangement with a female woman"? Is that what they're calling it these days? That is so hilarious.

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  7. I am horseback riding bareback on a horse without a saddle!

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  8. This reminds me of a baseball team. The Los Angeles Angels...which really means "The The Agels Angels." Go Padres!

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  9. Of course I would mistakenly type a typo...Angels Angels.

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  10. So this is how to win NaNoWriMo!

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  11. Instant classic. I make it my life goal to turn "Delayed by lateness" into a common phrase.

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  12. Whoa, whoa, whoa, I was tracking with you until you took it to the train station depot loudspeaker announcement messages. Let's try to keep this online discussion conversation rational.

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  13. He needed $20 bucks to purchase nutrition food.

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  14. This sounds like nothing so much as an Aussie cricketer giving a press interview. Spot on!

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  15. I swear I read stuff like this ALL THE TIME. My fault for reading Fanfic, I know, but still. I read something today which was very similar to the "grabbed it with his hand" line, it said 'they chorused together'. OF COURSE THEY DID, IF IT'S NOT TOGETHER IT'S NOT A CHORUS. It didn't even make sense, either, as the characters said two different things. It was a complete fail on use of the verb 'to chorus'. It was a complete deal breaker, stopped reading it right there.
    Bt yeah, I hate redundancies in writing. Only ever acceptable in an essay, in which case it's an excellent way to fill the wordcount if you don't have much to say.

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  16. Yeah, I'm guilty of using "(adj) and (similar adj)" occasionally.

    Nevertheless, I'm seeing a lot of funny and humorous stuff in this blog in which you write in; it's pretty great and stupendous!

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  17. Really amazing blog and great articles. Design is simple and great. Thanks for sharing.

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  18. One of the few instances of irregardless that made me smile instead of rage. Good job.

    I am also using delayed by lateness next time i'm late for anything.

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  19. Put me with Kate when it comes to fanfiction. This is finally what put me off one of my favorite writers. Her redundancies are a *little* more spread out, but she has a way of saying everything in twice as many words as necessary.

    "Delayed by lateness" though? I'll be using that, same as "silent as refrigerated milk".

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  20. LOL Stephanie Meyer, we all know it's you! Nice try though!

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  21. "PIN number" is a common and relatively harmless redundancy. What worries me is that he seems to have forgotten to retrieve his card from the cash machine.

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  22. Yes, that’s an accidental mistake.

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  23. Verbosity is frequently mistaken for intelligence, or even more dangerously, wit... Really the editor is to blame whenever such things end up in print!

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  24. You are a genius. Keep it up. I share these with my students to shame them into writing well.

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  25. I've heard "at this moment in time" used by people who take themselves very seriously. It often slips under the radar.

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  26. I laughed the entire time I read this one. Great post! :)

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  27. In like fourth grade, one of my classmates had in one of her essays the phrase "the bodies of the dead cadavers." She could not see anything wrong with this, no matter how people tried to explain it to her.

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  28. "Finally, at last his cash money which he was withdrawing from the ATM machine emerged into view when it came out as it was disbursed..." is a better beginning to the start of the sentence about his getting his cash money out of the ATM machine at the bank where they release funds from the institution where they hold his deposits of currency.

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  29. I'm pretty sure I'm guilty of all of these things all of the time. Why do we do write like this without even noticing? Thanks for making the obvious apparent. I can only examine the absurdity and hope to successfully remove it from my words.

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  30. Sadly that reads like the thesis I'm trying to edit at the moment. Last draft i returned was a couple of thousand words shorter than when it arrived...

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  31. [he muttered]...surely you meant "he muttered quietly under his breath"

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  32. I necessarily have to say that this is undoubtedly without a doubt the most funny and hilarious piece of made-up fiction I have seen with my eyes in quite a long while.

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  33. Is it okay if I quote this as part of an exercise I'm doing for a course?

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  34. Positively yes, he replied in the affirmative.

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  35. Reminds me of a line from Futurama. "...when I found the murdered body of Amy's dead, deceased corpse!"

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