Rely on your back catalogue #5

(if this doesn’t make sense to you, see the previous post)

Teddy’s SMS Loans
From £5  to  £100,000

Looking for a low-cost loan but too busy getting into all that debt to pick up the phone? No worries! Teddy’s SMS Loans are the solution!

Great! How does it work?
Simply text your name, the amount you wish to borrow, the names of all the most important people in your life and your bank account details to 82666. We’ll do the rest. 

That seems a little too easy…
It is! Our expert team of computer ‘experts’ are able to find out any information we need to know about you from your bank account details. If banks have already run complicated, lengthy checks, there’s no need for us to bother! You’ll have the money in your account the next working day!

Why do you need to know how many loved ones I have?
To determine how much money we can lend you. SMS Loans isn’t one of those scary finance companies that takes away people’s cars or houses. You don’t need a car or a house to get a loan with us. You don’t even need a job or a regular income. If for some reason you can’t keep up your payments, one of our ‘guys’ will pay a visit to one of your loved ones and see if we can’t find a solution. If the problem persists, we’ll visit the next one on your list and so on and so on. The more loved ones, the more money you can borrow. Simple.

Don’t I need to sign something?
What is this, the dark ages? Signatures are a thing of the past. These days, entering into a life-changing legal agreement is as easy as coughing at an auction. By texting your loan request to 82666, you automatically duck most of the red tape the government puts in the way of loan requests. Just see the “send” button as the dotted line and your thumb as all the legal advice you’ll ever need.

And you’ve got great interest rates, right?
Of course we have. We love our interest rates. Don’t you think if we were going to rip you off we’d have made our logo a picture of Hitler or something? You’re busy – you haven’t got time to go and check all this stuff out, so just pick up your phone right now and Trust the Teddy!

For full terms and conditions go to We experience a high volume of traffic through our website and this page may take between 3 and 8 hours to load. Remember, when looking for a loan, time is of the essence. What if they all go? Don’t miss out. Trust the Teddy!


  1. I borrowed some money from them once. I couldn't repay the loan, so they repossessed 3 of my friends, my husband, my first born child & my dog. I really miss that dog!

    1. I find the unintended implications of the word "repossessed" rather amusing.

  2. There are a lot of online payday loan services that can be searched online. One just have to be very resourceful about the information that they are searching for to avoid dealing with illegitimate payday loan providers.

  3. Wow. That's the first time I've seen spam that managed to actually contribute to the conversation. You know what? I'm not deleting it. Bravo, Dallas Payday Loan. Bravo.